Fallen Angels

This is a true story, but the names and places have been changed to ensure their privacy.

Not so long back, in a village there used to live a young man called Rajan. He was always insecure… sometimes he would even end up taking pregnancy tests. Of course, he never got pregnant.

It was very scary in the insecure World that he lived in. He got sacked from his job, his wife threw him out of the house, his wife would even pull his plate from under his nose when he took his already soiled hands to the plate to grab a morsel of food….you name it and he was capable of imagining it.

One thing that kept him in one piece was his prayers. He prayed each day and soon enough…they had some effect. All of a sudden, he was at peace with himself.

The day he realized he was happy and pretty secure…he noticed odd incidents in his house. His Dove soap was wet when he walked in to take bath. His towel was wet and had been placed on the ironing board – something he would have never done. The toilet hadn`t been flushed. And two of his diapers were missing. Rajan had taken to wearing diapers because he was insecure about his water bag`s abilities (read urinary bladder). Mind you all this when Rajan was all of 30 years old.

These sudden changes made him suspicious. He knew there was somebody else in the house, besides his wife. Somebody more dangerous, for he was not visible. From the way the person had left the towel on the iron-board, Rajan could deduce that he got to be a man – a physically powerful adversary.

After a few days of suspicious living, wherein Rajan re-entered his days of insecurity…the 30-year-old lad from Madurai decided enough was enough and decide to keep a night-watch on the intruder.

To calm his nerves, he gulped down half a bottle of whiskey and hide behind the carton in which the refrigerator had come packed. Though he never liked it…he could not throw the dusty carton because his wife wouldn`t let him. But that day…the refrigerator carton came in handy. Talking of handy….he also took his Sony handy-cam to film (or take pictures) of this intruder in his house.

Perhaps, it was the dust in the carton, or the whiskey….Rajan was feeling very sleepy. Had it not been for the fear of dropping the handy-cam (which would have led to a month-long cold war with his wife) …Rajan would have slept and missed all the action.

At 12 in the mid-night they came. It was not one man…but two men…more of boys…actually small kids. Young boys with wings on their backs.

Rajan was confused. For a moment, he thought he was dreaming, but all the smoke in the room was proving otherwise. These small kids were actually smoking. He could clearly see that they were wearing diapers.

“Those are mine,” he muttered. But even before he finished, he noticed both the small boys were drinking beer. It was his mini-beer bottle.

They seemed too young to be thieves. They also had wings…and wore diapers (his though)…who could they be? Rajan thought long and hard…and then it struck him…they were angels. As soon as he realized that, he picked up his handy cam and snapped a few pictures.

Now, he could hear the two drunken angels speaking.

“Nice hangout, eh?” Angel One (sounds like Agent One) was saying even as he puffed at Rajan`s Gold Flake Kings.

“I did not quite like it. Kind of stuffy. I wish we had got that Kareena Kapoor assignment.” Angel Two replied.

“Yeah. Me too. I heard she is pretty.”

“Do you like this dude…Rajan.?”

“Looks like a creep to me. Wonder why we are sent to Earth to watch such creeps. I hate my job…but I cannot revolt. There is a dearth for jobs in heaven.” Angel One exclaimed.

“I also hate the bugger. His wife treats him like shit ….perhaps that is the reason for all his problems.” Angel2 sided with Rajan.

“Maybe… but as soon as we are finished with this beer and the cigarettes, and as soon as we get ourselves a new pair of diapers…we will rush out of here.”

“Sure mate. Whatever you say….after all when I did not like it you rushed out of that sex maniac Shakti Kapoor`s house.”

Rajan listened to their discussion in rapt attention and somehow fell asleep.

In the morning, he woke up in his bed…his handy-cam next to his pillow. Initially, it all seemed like a dream …and then he noticed the crack in his handy-cam. He checked for the most recent pictures….and saw the angels. He had actually captured the angels….drinking and smoking.

He tried contacting the top media people…BBC, CNN, Times…but nobody would buy his story and pictures. Obviously, his next stop was the World`s 4th best news site – The Ouchmytoe Daily. You first read about the Fallen Angels, here!

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at jv.rajan@gmail.com or message him at +919650080255.

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