Finally! This post is to announce my arrival in Gurgaon. The city is all gur and no gaon.
At about 9.15 a.m. on June 25, the pilot of the 6.15 a.m. Kingfisher Airlines from Chennai announced: “We will be reaching Delhi in the next ten minutes. The climatic temperature in the Indian capital is 30 degree Celsius at the moment, and the political temperature is close to 100 degree Celsius.”
I stayed in my seat …the passengers who had to get down at Delhi started getting ready. One of them changed from his lungi into a three-piece suit, while the other removed the saree-cradle she had tied from the roof of the airplane for her baby.
Since I wasn`t getting down in Delhi, I didn`t even wear my shoes. Whenever on a plane, I make it a point of removing my shoes and showing my socks to the fellow passengers. This way, nobody blames me for the foul smell which unfortunately follows me all around.
Just to be sure I dug into my experience of traveling in buses and nudged my co-passenger (who was checking morphed Madhuri Dixit`s pictures in his Blackberry) and asked: ‘This airplane would go to Gurgaon, right? Is that the last stop?”
“I am sorry. This is a Chennai-Delhi flight.” Madhuri Dixit`s pictures must have been real good, for the man got back to his Blackberry.
I wanted to argue with the man, but somehow Madhuri Dixit`s morphed pictures caught my eye and I lost track of time. Don`t get me wrong…the Photoshop expert had only morphed Madhuri Dixit as Jhansi Ki Rani. Or was that Shantoshi Ma?
Suddenly somebody shouted: “Did you just fart?” The question was loud and heard all over the airplane. Six of the passengers shouted back in indignation: “It wasn`t me this time!”
Thankfully, we all heard the pilot say to his co-pilot, “Shucks, the mike is still on,” before the line went dead. I say thankfully, because the passengers had started blaming each other and some were even asking for proof of being non-guilty.
Unlike his mouth, the pilot had better control over his hands – it was one of the best landings I had experienced.
All the passengers bound for Delhi stood up….and started walking slowly. I fail to why the inside of an airplane turns into a metropolitan bus as soon as it stops.
Soon enough, everybody got down.
Suddenly I was feeling lonely. I always feel so when I am the last passenger and I have to get down at the terminus. Just that, in a bus the home stretch is spent with the conductor and here I had two pretty kingfisher air hostesses for company.
Luck of all lucks….one of them was now looking at me…and smiling…and walking towards me. Was she going to take advantage of me? Was the second air hostess also going to join in? What will they force me to do? Will they video-tape me and then force me to visit their home whenever they wanted? Will the video be uploaded on Youtube under the title ‘IT professional molested by two air hostesses`? How will the media respond when I call in a press conference to say these girls were tormenting me? Will the judge believe me when I describe how they removed my shirt? Will Rekha trust me from now onwards? The questions were plenty…but there was no time for answers…for she was now very near.
“Sir, you will have to get down. We are in Delhi.” For somebody so besotted by my looks she had tremendous self control. Surprisingly, she was controlling her feelings pretty well.
“But I am going to Gurgaon. That`s where MIH Internet`s office is…and I am joining them as a Sr Product Manager.” I managed an emphasis on the word ‘senior` to impress her.
“Sir, Gurgaon doesn`t have an airport. You will have to take a cab from here. Can you please get off this plane?”
I didn`t understand why the air hostess was behaving like this. Till only sometime back, she seemed to want to hug me…and now she wanted me off the plane.
The stupid man that I am, I spotted the second air hostess very late. The second girl was now near us and could hear everything the first girl said…and I immediately realized that the prettier of the two wanted to have me for herself. I immediately stood up, and took my bag and started to leave.
I knew the first air hostess will catch up with me and give me her number. While passing the third row of seats…I realized she was much smarter than I had thought she was…she had left a tissue paper with a message for me on the floor. I slowly picked it up – lest the second air hostess saw it. As the girl in love had suggested I took the cab and was on my way to Gurgaon.
Yaaaahoooo! Looks like I made a good decision…for MIH Internet seems to be a company that takes good care of its employees – they have provided me guest house accommodation, a car and a driver for the first 15 days of my stay in Gurgaon.
PS: Don`t know whose phlegm the tissue paper contained.
Other Flighty Reads
# Difference between a train & an aeroplane – a guide for the first time flyer
# The Kingfisher Class – Part 1
# The Kingfisher Class – Part 2
# Traveling by Kingfisher Airlines
# Inside the Jet Airways flight
# Reporting straight from the Bangalore Airport
# Cheap airlines and cheap thrills