From Chat Archives: discussing my raise with my ex-boss Hi, still up? Yeah. I am working on a strategy to make money for the company. In fact, I wanted to discuss my raise with you. Shouldn’t you be checking with your girl friends? No! I am talking about the annual appraisals. Ah! Mind you…. a petty criminal is just somebody who didn’t have enough money to start a company. In short, you are negotiating a raise with criminals. I understand that. Just that we Rajans are so primitive that we still thinking working hard is the only means of making money. But my son….money alone isn’t everything. You could be right about that. But give me a chance to prove it to myself! But why do you want a raise now? I have a home loan that takes away almost everything that I earn. How much is it? Around 50K per month. Ah! If you owe the bank 50K….it is your problem. But if you owe the bank 500K it becomes the bank’s problem…so try to convert it into the bank’s problem. But sir, I am also going through a medical condition right now and the medical bills are high too. I so much need money now that I wouldn’t mind giving a thousand dollars to be a millionaire. I can send you to Zimbabwe for a overseas experience – nice money too. You can earn in Zimbabwean dollars. Interested? Sir, I have heard that their economy is so bad that they leave their cash registers open but keep toilets closed to avoid toilet paper theft? Ohh ok. So you know. Yes sir. We Rajans aren’t that stupid. And do you think I am stupid? No sir. Good. But sir…my father always said that if I weren’t dying soon, I should start making a lot of money. What did he say for when you knew you were about to die? Sir, in that case he asked me to take insurance. OK. Have you heard a big, famous man say, “When in charge, ponder. When in trouble, delegate. When in doubt, mumble.” Yes sir…I have read it somewhere. Well….hatty asfha asgasa hljlk asjj iuiui jasasa.

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at or message him at +919650080255.

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