From Chat Archives: discussing my raise with my ex-boss

Jv.rajan@gmail.com: Hi, still up?

My-Ex-Boss@youporn.com: Yeah. I am working on a strategy to make money for the company.

Jv.rajan@gmail.com: In fact, I wanted to discuss my raise with you.

My-Ex-Boss@youporn.com: Shouldn’t you be checking with your girl friends?

Jv.rajan@gmail.com: No! I am talking about the annual appraisals.

My-Ex-Boss@youporn.com: Ah! Mind you…. a petty criminal is just somebody who didn’t have enough money to start a company. In short, you are negotiating a raise with criminals.

Jv.rajan@gmail.com: I understand that. Just that we Rajans are so primitive that we still thinking working hard is the only means of making money.

My-Ex-Boss@youporn.com: But my son….money alone isn’t everything.

Jv.rajan@gmail.com: You could be right about that. But give me a chance to prove it to myself!

My-Ex-Boss@youporn.com: But why do you want a raise now?

Jv.rajan@gmail.com: I have a home loan that takes away almost everything that I earn.

My-Ex-Boss@youporn.com: How much is it?

Jv.rajan@gmail.com: Around 50K per month.

My-Ex-Boss@youporn.com: Ah! If you owe the bank 50K….it is your problem. But if you owe the bank 500K it becomes the bank’s problem…so try to convert it into the bank’s problem.

Jv.rajan@gmail.com: But sir, I am also going through a medical condition right now and the medical bills are high too. I so much need money now that I wouldn’t mind giving a thousand dollars to be a millionaire.

My-Ex-Boss@youporn.com: I can send you to Zimbabwe for a overseas experience – nice money too. You can earn in Zimbabwean dollars. Interested?

Jv.rajan@gmail.com: Sir, I have heard that their economy is so bad that they leave their cash registers open but keep toilets closed to avoid toilet paper theft?

My-Ex-Boss@youporn.com: Ohh ok. So you know.

Jv.rajan@gmail.com: Yes sir. We Rajans aren’t that stupid.

My-Ex-Boss@youporn.com: And do you think I am stupid?

Jv.rajan@gmail.com: No sir.

My-Ex-Boss@youporn.com: Good.

Jv.rajan@gmail.com: But sir…my father always said that if I weren’t dying soon, I should start making a lot of money.

My-Ex-Boss@youporn.com: What did he say for when you knew you were about to die?

Jv.rajan@gmail.com: Sir, in that case he asked me to take insurance.

My-Ex-Boss@youporn.com: OK. Have you heard a big, famous man say, “When in charge, ponder. When in trouble, delegate. When in doubt, mumble.”

Jv.rajan@gmail.com: Yes sir…I have read it somewhere.

My-Ex-Boss@youporn.com: Well….hatty asfha asgasa hljlk asjj iuiui jasasa.


  1. Is it ok for me to think that your ex-boss is a witty man?

    In case that offended you in any way, I’d like to clarify by saying that you are definitely wittier.


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