Get the message?

According to a survey, 70 per cent of all mails sent over the net are spam. And within the next few years, the figure is expected to reach 90 per cent. All this will happen from London, where laws for spammers are not so severe.

Ever thought how it would be to receive spam in your mobile? Well, to start with, it would be nice. You could get to know the local events – garage sales, exhibitions, food festivals etc. Slowly, you will also be getting messages from fitness centers, educational institutions and Churches – in short messages you are not keen on.

Philip Kotler`s next edition of Marketing Management will have a new chapter Mobile Marketing. And you will come across business units that are into sending messages to mobiles all over the world – in short, Mobile Marketing.

“So, what do you do for a living,” you would ask your cousin.
“I send mobile messages to the people. Will have to send 3,000 messages tonight – we are a 24×7 operation you see.”

Soon 90 per cent of the messages we get will be spam. And since we will learn to delete the messages without reading, the powers-that-be will come up with a genuine idea – their first spam to your mobile will have something called a Mobile bug.

Once in your mobile, every message you get from that marketer will be made to look as if it came from one of the guys/gals listed in your phone book. Now, you will never be able to delete the messages without opening them. Your mobile will say – Message from Mother. And when you open it, the message will read “Get the best of colored, scented condoms at Tri-Color Condoms, Adayar, Chennai. Door delivery for order of more than 100 condoms.” Dont ask me how you going to use them!

With so many messages to read you will spend atleast four hours of your waking time reading messages. Soon it will eat into your working hours, and your employer who anyways was not very keen in having you, will show you the door. With no money to even eat, you will eventually sell your mobile. And lead a peaceful life.

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at or message him at +919650080255.

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