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Hair today, gone tomorrow

I am a few drinks of Vodka down and that`s good news. I can indulge in self-flagellation better when drunk. Didn`t someone famous….ironically I am not able to remember his name…once say: “Alcohol dulls the pain.”

Let me break the news – I am losing hair and that too very fast. So much so, when I get out of the bath I feel lighter. Perhaps it has to do with the fact that a lot of dirt accumulates over a week, but I wouldn`t know till I become a regular at bathing.

A few days back my six year old niece asked me if it was autumn.

“The whole of South India has only two seasons – the summer & the rainy. No autumn for you and me,” I replied.

“But the trees are shedding uncle,” she said even as she continued playing with the keys of her fake laptop. And then she locked it.

“Which tree are you talking about?” I asked, hoping to close the argument with one final sentence.

“You!” She playfully pointed at me.

“I am no tree. I am just losing my hair due to old age, if that`s what you are referring to.” I placed all my cards on the table.

Being my family member my niece couldn`t give up easily. It runs in the family.

“But uncle, Rekha aunty says you are as dense as a tree. Doesn`t that make you a tree?”

“When did Rekha aunty say that?” I didn`t know my wife was talking about me behind my back. On second thoughts, a wife talking behind her husband`s back is a good habit – the husband is not expected to understand & respond.

“She said this immediately after commenting on the strong bark that you have. She was talking of an instance when you scolded her and all.”

I didn`t probe the matter further.

The latter part of this article has been cut out because Wrongone, a regular patron feels it isn’t up to the mark.

Like I was saying, I am losing hair. This is completely new to my family. There are stories about my grandfather`s visits to the barber shop, which when told after a drink assumes immense importance.

Legend has it that the barber in our village used to charge him extra because he had to rent a lawn mower the day my grandpa wanted haircut. With no electricity in those days, the barber had to hire an assistant to rotate the lever which would keep the lawn mower in action. Even the schools nearby announced a day off because the teachers weren`t heard over the noise.

My father carried the same genes and hence ended up with real strong hair. When he joined the army and was posted in the India-Pakistan border, he would cut his hair only during heavy shelling. That way, the others weren`t disturbed.

Now, thanks to my hair-gel and experimentations with different shampoos, I have started losing hair. Wonder if it has to do with the 10 ml shampoo bottles I have been stealing from the hotel rooms I have been staying in, since Dec 7 (the day I joined Yahoo).

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