The bedtime story

I am not the selfish type, but there are some things that a man cannot compromise with. His bed, for example.

I have been sleeping in my bed alone for the past 29 years, and all of a sudden a bunch of geriatrics (read elders) arrange (?!) for somebody to sleep with me for the next 40-50 years. At least, I am lucky I have known the person for 4 years now. Think about all those who meet their wives for the first time a few seconds before the knot is tied. Guess, once the knot is tied, their lives would be tied in knots.

Everyday, I wake up…I go “Gee…who is THIS?” And the next second I realize its my wife – the only lady in my life for the next 40-50 years. The thought itself is scary. She is the only lady I am ever going to kiss…ever going to touch. Of course, this holds true only if I stick to the guidelines laid out by our jealous forefathers and strictly followed by the girl I am left with.

If you thought finding somebody asleep on your bed was scary shit…you should wait till they get up. It seems I should not be sleeping after 6.30 a.m. The Gods would be upset, she says. For Gods sake, why should I be worried about what is good for Gods and what is not. I mean, shouldn`t I be worried about myself?

After I force myself out of the bed, this so-called-very-methodical-person folds the bed sheets and keeps them at the foot of the bed. Pathetic. Why would anybody want to mess with a nice, inviting, crumbled bed? Sans logic. But then, that`s marriage I guess.

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at or message him at +919650080255.

4 replies on “The bedtime story”

[…] A few nights sleeping with my wife (that’s legal I hope!) I realized that there is no space called MY PRIVATE SPACE in marriage. Rekha is the ‘Rolling Stone’ type of sleeper. As in, she rolls on the bed and pushes the other occupants down. The double bed that was all my own suddenly wasn’t mine. To tell you the truth, on our first night itself I was pushed down from the bed and it was embarrassing to walk out of the bedroom next day with an injured forehead and blue eye. Especially because 19 relatives of ours were staring at the door, when I opened it and walked out sheepishly. That’s when I wrote a post titled: I hate to sleep with my wife. […]

I thorghly njoyed the followng statemnt…”If you thought finding somebody asleep on your bed was scary shit…you should wait till they get up”

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