The bedtime story

I am not the selfish type, but there are some things that a man cannot compromise with. His bed, for example.

I have been sleeping in my bed alone for the past 29 years, and all of a sudden a bunch of geriatrics (read elders) arrange (?!) for somebody to sleep with me for the next 40-50 years. At least, I am lucky I have known the person for 4 years now. Think about all those who meet their wives for the first time a few seconds before the knot is tied. Guess, once the knot is tied, their lives would be tied in knots.

Everyday, I wake up…I go “Gee…who is THIS?” And the next second I realize its my wife – the only lady in my life for the next 40-50 years. The thought itself is scary. She is the only lady I am ever going to kiss…ever going to touch. Of course, this holds true only if I stick to the guidelines laid out by our jealous forefathers and strictly followed by the girl I am left with.

If you thought finding somebody asleep on your bed was scary shit…you should wait till they get up. It seems I should not be sleeping after 6.30 a.m. The Gods would be upset, she says. For Gods sake, why should I be worried about what is good for Gods and what is not. I mean, shouldn`t I be worried about myself?

After I force myself out of the bed, this so-called-very-methodical-person folds the bed sheets and keeps them at the foot of the bed. Pathetic. Why would anybody want to mess with a nice, inviting, crumbled bed? Sans logic. But then, that`s marriage I guess.