Home alone for Jammy

Two and a half years back I had announced my marriage with Rekha on this blog. Today, I would like to announce that I am a bachelor again. No! Girls, wait! Not yet. Rekha is gone only for six months and when she is back I will have one more reason not to dump her – the Kerala chips she will bring for me. Just kidding.

Last Friday, Rekha renounced her kingdom and made me the king again. She will be in Kerala for six months and in her absence I will be ruling our house. Have already taken her sandals which I can keep on the TV and seek guidance. My only grudge is…I had to soak the sandal in surf water before keeping it on the TV.

She has come up with five pages of instructions on what needs to be done to maintain the house the way it is now. They have been labeled Daily, Weekly and Monthly. A surprise inclusion in the Daily column is me taking bath.

Of the tasks labeled weekly the one that made me sigh in relief was: Give fruits to the maid servant once in a while. Apparently, she is pregnant. I am so glad our maid servant is already pregnant….I can`t visualize Rekha`s reaction if I had to tell her after a few months that our maid was pregnant. It would have been too much of a coincidence.

Of the tasks labeled Monthly, nothing interests me. All of them are about paying back to banks, institutions etc. Didn`t somebody once say, “Life is all about giving.” How true.

We landed in Kerala on Saturday afternoon. Like Keralites, even their trains are laid back. Don`t ask me how I know…for on our way I saw 14 compartments of one of their trains lying on their backs in a paddy field. Not something one would appreciate. Especially, during the weekend when there is so much rush.

As usual Rekha`s father was at the station. Apparently, he had come to the railway station two days in advance….so that he didn`t get late for receiving us. I said: ‘Accha, you could have come in today afternoon…why come two days ago?”

“That`s fine Rajan….I didn`t buy any platform tickets. Whenever the railway police came, I hid under a gunny bag from which I had evicted a homeless child.”

One can`t really argue with a person like him so I opted for the lesser of the two devils. I started talking to Rekha again.

While leaving for Chennai again, I held back tears and told her as only a man can pretend: “So, you are on your home soil. Six month here and you will turn into the daughter of the soil again with a hibiscus flower in your wet, greasy hair topped by a pearl-colored saree.”

She didn`t reply…too choked perhaps. Sometimes love can hurt.

Why is Rekha going to Kerala? Read all about it here!
# Announcing – Pregnancy Diary
# The initial months of pregnancy
# Some of the anniversaries I have to remember
# The baby-mother bonding

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at jv.rajan@gmail.com or message him at +919650080255.

26 replies on “Home alone for Jammy”

Oh boy.. 6 months.. did u do any shopping for urself??

I remember , a colleague of mine headed straight to a nearby liquor shop after seeing off his wife at the airport.

At last, an original one from u… I thought i would stop reading your blog for sometime had i seen another link …

Enjoy being a bachelor once again.. Don’t forget to part with me the Kerala Chips…Every

I can jammy shouting “En pondatti oorukku poyittaaaa” (My wife has gone to her native) like janakaraj in the movie Agni Natchatram.

wrongone: if by shopping you meant a visit to the nearby liqour shop…yes I did. The problem is…now I am also expected to shop in many other places – the fruit shop, the venegetable shop, The Food World etc….which is a put off.

Uma: Enjoy Bachelorhood? Noway. I dont think any husband who loves his wife would be able to enjoy staying alone again. I didn’t think I would be affected so much by Rekha’s visit to ‘maike’. It is the pits…and I am not talking of how I am maintaining the house in her absense.

And hey…dont stop reading the blog yet. This is when my life gets spicer…when i try and get in touch with the ladies whose husbands are in their ‘maike’.

Arun: yes sir, jammy is back and with a lot more article ideas. And thanks for sticking by in my time of need…

Saran: you wouldn’t believe it but thats exactly what I told Rekha I would shout as soon as she left the house. Unfortunately couldn’t live my drream coz I also left with her to drop her in kerala.

Gayathri: CTS didnt give her six months…I just rounded it off to six months 😉

@ And Rekha, your “poor” husband doesnt really need “us” to give him any ideas, does he?

I am really impressed with the reputation i carry among the readers!

Browser: I am open to discussion. It could perhaps be a Ouchmytoe readers union of sorts…

The “Open to discussion” bit is for the paying part.

Hey Jammy,

Its been long since I read a quality post of yours. This one was not your best but somewhere in the top ranks..I hope and expect even better from you.

Take care,


Deepak: thanks man. You keep reading…i will keep writing. Someday, both of us will become better at what we are doing. ;-)) :-))

Uma: If only I had your husband’s mail ID…. ha ha ha…
I would have given him a free invite to the “How to love your wife and yet beat her up” training program…

Preeti: No special party for this …without wife…the whole life is a party. 😉

*I know that was rude…no, i am actually missing her already. and I have six more months to go.

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