How to get into a conversation with a girl

If you know the girl`s mobile number, getting into a conversation with her is easy. Just dial her number, tell her that you can calling in from the ICICI Bank`s credit card division and want to tell her about an interesting Gold card offer. If she buys your story she probably is dumb enough to buy your second story too – that buying you a dinner in the evening will prove her credit worthiness.

But what if she doesn`t have a mobile phone? You definitely can`t call her landline because it is most likely that the retired father of hers is sitting next to the landline leafing through a Times of India. What options does this give us? Look for another girl perhaps? And this is where life gets tough.

Way back in the 1995s – when today`s 32-year-olds like me were picking up conversations with girls, it used to be different. Back then, if one had a red Maruti 800 with “Heart Break Kid” written on the rear window…one had too many girls showing interest. “If only Maruti 800 was a bigger car,” I remember a rich friend of mine confessing.

Those with a bike got the not-so- pretty girls. People like me, who finished their college driving a second-hand TVS Champ…got the not-so-pretty girls too. Just that unlike the guys with bikes, we had to pay for every outing.

Once I had no money for petrol (though my TVS Champ gave me 80 kilometers per litre – which back then cost Rs 20 only) and was forced to go to college in a bus. It was then that I realized the possibilities of striking a conversation with a girl in the bus stop was higher.

If you are a bachelor and are looking out for a good girl (with loads of patience), strike a conversation with the girl who waits with you at the bus stop.

“So, which bus are you waiting for?” I inquired one warm morning.

“The bus with six wheels.” She responded.

By her reply itself, I knew she was from the Lady Doak College – a girl`s exclusive. For those that don`t know, in Madurai (Tamil Nadu) Lady Doak College is also known as LDC. ‘Love Developing Center`, some argue.

“Six wheels including the spare tyre?” I tried to continue the conversation.

The girl never spoke to me again. Even when I told her that the ‘six wheel bus had arrived.`

I learnt the best lesson that day – have intelligent opening lines if you have to strike a conversation with a girl. If you are a bachelor and are looking out…please rehearse some the opening lines given below:

1) “I think US should vacate Iraq at the earliest. What do you say?”

2) “Do you really think Rahul Gandhi is the Yuvraj Singh of the Congress?”

3) “With Twenty20 cricket matches gaining popularity, do you think the 50-overs matches will soon become extinct?”

Remember, the above questions will help you strike a conversation with only 80% of the girls. If you end up with the other 20%, try and make an honorable exit.

You could always try sites like ibibo Café, Facebook or Orkut. Besides, there are the personal advertisement sections (the ones in newspapers & Magazines)…where God-knows-why nobody is average looking. Everybody is tall, handsome and intelligent!

Other Must Reads

# Sending off a girl to Mumbai
# Encounters of the third kind
# Entering a new house the traditional way
# Saving your skin in North India
# Looking for a house in Gurgaon

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at or message him at +919650080255.

22 replies on “How to get into a conversation with a girl”

The Lord surveyed the Ram Setu and said “Hanuman, how diligently and
strenuously you and your vanara sena had built this bridge several centuries
back. It is remarkable that it has withstood the ravages of the climatic and
geographical changes over centuries. It is indeed an amazing feat especially
considering the fact that a bridge at Hyderabad built by Gammon using latest
technology collapsed the other day even before they could stick the posters
on its pillars.”

Hanuman with all humility spoke “Jai Sri Ram, it is all because of your
grace. We just scribbled your name on the bricks and threw them in thesea
and they held. No steel from TISCO or cement from Ambuja or ACC was ever
used. But Lord, why rake up the old issue now.”

Ram spoke “Well, Hanuman some people down there want to demolish the bridge
and construct a canal. The contract involves lot of money and lot of money
will be made. They will make money on demolition and make more money on
construction. ”

Hanuman humbly bowed down and said “Why not we go down and present our case?

Ram said “Times have changed since we were down there. They will ask us to
submit age proof and we don’t have either a birth certificate or school
leaving certificate. We traveled mainly on foot and some times in bullock
carts and so we don’t have a driving license either. As far as the address
proof is concerned the fact that I was born at Ayodhya is itself under
litigation for over half a century, If I go in a traditional attire with bow
and arrow, the ordinary folks may recognize me but Arjun Singh may take me
to be some tribal and, at the most, offer a seat at IIT under the reserved
category. Also, a God cannot walk in dressed in a three-piece suit and
announce his arrival. It would make even the devotees suspicious. So it is
dilemma so to say.”

“I can vouch for you by saying that I personally built the bridge.”

“My dear, Anjani putra, it will not work. They will ask you to produce the
lay-out plan, the project details, including financial outlay and how the
project cost was met and the completion certificate. Nothing is accepted
without documentary evidence in India. You may cough but unless a doctor
certifies it, you have no cough. A pensioner may present himself personally
but the authorities do not take it as proof. He has to produce a
life-certificate to prove that he is alive. It is that complicated.”

“Lord can’t understand these historians. Over the years you have given
darshan once every hundred years to saints like Surdas, Tulsidas, Saint
Thyagaraja, Jayadeva, Bhadrachala Ramdas and even Sant Tukaram and still
they disbelieve your existence and say Ramayana is a myth. The only option,
I see, is to re-enact Ramayana on earth and set the government records
straight once for all.”

Lord smiled “It isn’t that easy today. Ravan is apprehensive that he may
look like a saint in front of Karunanidhi. I also spoke to his mama
Mareecha, who appeared as a golden deer to tempt Sita maiyya when I was in
the forest and he said that he won’t take a chance of stepping on earth as
long as Salman Khan is around.”

no, i have not written it, got this in a forwarded mail, found this brilliant sarcasm on current situation in india, and thought of spreading this….;)

please rehearse some the opening lines given below:

1) “I think US should vacate Iraq at the earliest. What do you say?”
2) “Do you really think Rahul Gandhi is the Yuvraj Singh of the Congress?”
Funny and hilarious.I think you should write a sequel for this.Take a look at these titles for your sequel post

13 questions to women’s heart
13 questions-the beginning

*ps-Rehearsing the questions

lol.. 🙂 Thats funny..

With the prettiest girl around, I would start talking about world peace. Isnt it what is supposed to attract the competition winning kind? 😀

dibya shrivastava , did you write the same think in comments box??.. because same contents i had read in rediff also

no i did not, i am not the author of this article, but found it too good and thought of sharing this here

😀 Those unintelligent questions sounded better. I donno how it’ll sound for a girl.

> “Six wheels including the spare tyre?”
This wud have scared her away. Starting laye “spare” pathi think pannina pinna yeppadi? 😛

i amartya,from kolkata. Site too good. I hv no need. Want some cool girlfriend. Mob. 09830301771

Jammy, when you first wrote this blog,it was absolutely hilarious. This is a second dekko of the same blog post. I was laughing on it all over again, till I started reading the comments.

Man, if anything the comments took away the entire cake 😀 esp. amartya 😀

I wonder which sensible girls strikes conversation with guys on Bus stop!! I mean the fact that he is at the bus stop is proof enough that the girl has to pay for all the outings henceforth:-) In my college days I made sure I avoid all these types of “conversation initiaing guys” on bus stop….Lucky you that you could find one girl:-)

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