I despise the ladies…

I know I should not despise ladies. Afterall, I was born in bed with a lady. But what to do…I also ended up marrying another.

OK…so the secret is out. I despise women. But surely not like the Britishers, who always lifted their hats when they passed the ladies. I wonder why. Was it because they had a secret camera under their hats which would take a snap of the lady in question? Or was it because the desperate British men of the 70s found it too hot when a lady passed by and had to lift their hats to let in some fresh air. As for the Britishers letting a lady pass first…don`t even get me started…I have always thought they had ulterior motives behind their chivalry.

Enough of Britishers. They have long left us and we are now supposed to be free. Oops…another Britisher here…
Margaret Thatcher, a Britisher, once said “Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren’t.”

(She was saying that if a lady has to proclaim to the World that she is a lady…chances were that she was not a lady)

How true. Just that she didn`t know that being a lady meant being powerful. Just browse through the pages of history and you would realize that most of the wars were started by the ladies…..Helen of Troy, Napolean`s mistress, Hitler`s girl friend turned wife, Benito Mussolini`s wife, Sadam Hussain…not to mention Rekha Rajan, my wife.

If you don`t believe me just ask why People for Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) are more opposed to leather than fur. You probably won`t take the trouble..so let me explain.

Leather is mostly used by motorcycle gangs but fur is used by spoilt, rich women…and who wants to mess with a woman? Motorcycle gangs…are easy to handle.

To tell you the truth….all the above were plain excuses…I actually hate women because they always know where the things are. From socks to kerchiefs to body spray to safety pin to crayons to wallet to coke bottle to Rajan…….Rekha knows everything.