I hate Mondays & Gossip

Mondays are a big bore. I am sure, all those IT guys out there agree.

Not so long ago, I used to look forward to rushing to office on Mondays. Guess, priorities change with time. Talking of time, ever wondered why the third hand of a watch is actually called a seconds hand?

Anyways, on a serious note…I hate Mondays. And I am not alone – everybody I have had a chance to discuss ‘Monday Madness` has conveyed his/her hatred. If everybody hates it so much, why don`t we declare Monday a holiday? I suggested this to my boss and like always she rubbished my plan saying, “Then, everybody will start hating Tuesdays!” Sad but true.

If there is something I hate as much as Mondays – it has to be gossip. Here is a true incident, which happened in our cafeteria as I nibbled at my Dosa, one Monday morning. In the table next to me two lady colleagues of mine were having breakfast. They were discussing about me…not knowing that I was sitting right behind them.

“Rajan told me that you told him the secret I had asked you not to tell him,” Shalini said.

Rupa was pretty upset with Shalini`s accusation. “You won`t believe it but I had asked him not to tell you that I had told him the secret,” she said.

I was just getting the hang of things, when Shalini confused me further by telling Rupa this – “Oh my God! Don`t tell Rajan that I told you that he told me the secret.”

Wonder if it is only the ladies who gossip. I am sure there are some men out there who enjoy doing the same.

I have a husband-wife theory called: “Talk The Walk”. According to this theory, every woman who loves gossip gets married to a man who hates it. Thus, while she is talking…the husband is walking. Hence the unlikely name: “Talk The Walk”.

Some habitual gossipers will go to any extent to create gossip. A lady friend of mine – unfortunately, I only have examples of lady gossipers – is a great gossiper. She is so hooked on to it that she gossips even when there is nobody to listen. How does she do that? Simple: She would write down the news, where others can read.

On one such occasion, with nothing much to gossip about…she wrote this on the wall of the ladies toilet of a Club Rekha and I frequent: “Rekha`s husband dotes on her so much, that he follows her everywhere she goes.”

The next day, the janitor found a “Nope. I don`t follow her everywhere she goes” written just below that. I promise, it wasn`t me!

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at jv.rajan@gmail.com or message him at +919650080255.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *