I think I am a Casanova

I think I am real cool Casanova. I have at least 5-6 pretty girls calling me every week. Shhhh….Rekha doesn`t know. This will be our little secret.

These girls are pretty and are gifted with sweet, seductive voice. Actually, let me be open with you. I don`t know if these girls are pretty, but they do sound pretty pretty. Not that it matters, but in terms of setting a man`s World right… visual aid is second only to humanitarian aid.

Pity every Romeo has to love Pink!

These girls would call me almost every day and ask if I was ready. That is, if I was ready to use their services. When they say services, they meant nothing but credit cards. And I am sure your slimy, corrupted mind would have imagined a hundred naughty things.

Here is how I spoke to the first lady who was trying to sell me a credit card –

(This was four years back, and I was new to Chennai. I was a rookie in the world of conmen, bluff, cheats, criminals, double-crossers, dupes, frauds, grafters and swindlers.)

She: Hi, am I speaking to Mr Jamshed V Rajan?
Me: Yes, please.
She: Sir, I am calling from ICICI Credit cards, and we have this no-yearly-fee offer for Sify Employees.
Me: Credit cards? Hm….

(I was in a state of shock. I never believed I would one day own a credit card. I thought it was for the cool guys..and I was nowhere close).

She: Sir, this offer is valid only till this month end. And I would suggest you go for it right away.

(She addressing me as ‘Sir` in every sentence was getting to my head. I don`t get addressed by that title every day)

Me: That was so nice of you to take the trouble to inform me about this offer. What favour can I do for you in return?
She: Nothing sir, this is plain social work.

(She would then ask me my Cost To The Company (Salary) and how many years I had put in with Sify etc)

She: Sir, We can offer you a Gold card. Also, if you have a picture of yours …we could use it on the credit card. (on the right you see the pic, I sent)
Me: That would be great. I really like you. Thanks a lot for doing so much for me. Perhaps, we could meet somewhere and get to know each other better.

(I was under the impression that she was doing all this for me because she was in love with me and wanted to impress me. I asked her out because I thought it was a man`s responsibility)

She: Sir, we could meet after you get the Gold card.
Me: Sure we can. And could I ask you a favor …please, don`t address me as ‘Sir.`

She: Sure Rajan. So I will send one of my executives with the application form.

In a day`s time an executive from the Bank came and in a few days time, I would get my first Credit card.

My dream girl never called after that. I tried calling the number from where she had called me, but a giggling girl would tell me that Radhika (that was her name) had quit her job.

As days went by and I recovered from a bout of Devdas-sickness, I started going to office. Almost immediately, I started getting many more such calls from ‘pretty` girls and soon I forgot my heartthrob Radhika.

While I felt happy that so many girls were taking interest in me…to this day…I fail to understand why they all shy away from meeting me!

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at jv.rajan@gmail.com or message him at +919650080255.

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