Why I thought Clitoris was Greek God and Dick was Duck’s brother

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Sex in India is different from the rest of the World. While we invent/discover/write kamasutras….we hide Debonairs and Playboys under our beds, yet to the world we are like: “Sex? Sorry, we are Indians.”

The other day, Rekha saw a chat message from my ex-girlfriend and caught me: “Who is she?”

““Ah! Just a friend.”

“Have you slept with her?” She was furious.

“Not a bit Rekha. We were up all night.”

Why are we Indians scared to talk about our sex lives? I mean, in my case it was different, I couldn’t have discussed my sex session with my ex-girlfriend to my wife, but I am talking about an average Indian.

For long my parents made me think that Clitoris was a Greek God and Dick was a type of bird related to Duck. But I wasn’t to be cowed down. By the time I was 22, I knew what both of these words meant.

After years of reading about it and watching it, one thing about sex has baffled me. Why is it that it is almost always the woman who screams while having sex. Whats wrong with the men? Why shouldn’t the men be screaming as well? As for the women, they scream louder when you walk in on them while cheating.

Then again, I think you should know that I am not against cheating women. In fact in the last two years or so I have not been up against any kind of naked women. At least, not as often as I would have loved to.

While on the subject, have you heard of the man who used to steal under garments from houses? When caught & told by the judge that anything he said would be held against him, he said: “Jennifer Aniston’s breasts.”

The judge laughed for so long that he thought it wise to let the criminal go. But before letting the criminal go the judge asked him: “So what will you do once I let you go?”

The criminal said: “I will go home and rip my wife’s bra apart. The tight elastic is making breathing difficult for me.”

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By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at or message him at +919650080255.

7 replies on “Why I thought Clitoris was Greek God and Dick was Duck’s brother”

Been some time since I read ouchmytoe. Wonder why I came to it. Also made me wonder why I don’t come here more often!

LOL Good one Rajan way to go. Should be Prof in some of the colleges. But on a serious front quite thought provoking.

Funny but true in India eh!!On the undy thief’s quick witted reply to the judge!! the grudge-judge would have gotten busy with the bloke’s answer rather than framing a sentence eh!! Good one..cheers!!

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