Today, Ice creams are not a rare commodity….thus turning the life of husbands (and in some cases boy friends) a torture.

Not so long back, they were a rare commodity. Back then, kulfis were the big thing. Not to mention the ‘noodles` ice stick (it would have semiya embedded). Some say, that was the beginning of the embedded technology.

Last night I was forced to take my wife Rekha out at 10.30 p.m.. She had this sudden urge to eat an ice-cream. I think I was asleep in front of the TV when she had this urge…and as a result I was pulled out of my shorts and T-shirt and dumped into my shirt and trousers and locked out of my house. I had no other option but to follow her to the Baskin and Robbins …some five kilometers away.

Once inside, we got the menu. It had the names of the combinations – very posh names….followed by a brief description of what it was. It took Rekha half an hour to decide what she wanted to have. All the while I was looking at the descriptions…to me they looked totally different… this….

Nutty Affair
A dash of ice-cream with all the nuts in the world. Exclusively prepared for rest of the nuts in the world.

Belly Dance
If you going to have this one, nothing can stop you gain a nice big belly which would dance to your tunes…as and when you want.

Roller Coaster
Want to feel like how you felt when you last went on a roller coaster? This ice-cream is just the right concoction you were looking for. It will make you nauseated.

Ice Berg
What you will see in your bowl is just 10% of what we are billing you for. After all…only 10% of any ice-berg is visible above the water surface. Got you!

Fruity Fantasy
Even as you are in the Fantasy world, we will strip you naked by filling your bowl with cheap seasonal fruits that we get at a still cheaper rate because we buy in wholesale.

Brown Sugar
This is the one we sell for the true-blue addicts. Just to make sure you come back yearning for more we add a dash of real-time brown sugar to this one. When you get your stomach cramps and start sweating…you know where to head!

Fig & Honey
Did you read it as Fig? Sorry that`s a misprint…it should have been Pig. This ice-cream borrows its origin from the Serbian practice of dipping the pig in honey before roasting it at the altar of hunger.

Calorie Shock
Think the bill that follows this offer would be biggest shock? You would be surprised when you clutch your heart and rush to the doctor only hours after having this ice-cream. Don`t tell we did not warn you!

Spanish Delight
It is all brown, and it is not chocolate. If you a Spanish, you probably recognize the dung that is collected from within the arena after each bull-fight. But then, this is Chennai and we don`t expect any Spanish to visit us. Did we just give away our secret recipe?

Royal Yatch
This is where we really take you for a ride. Not different from any other plain vanilla (pun intended) ice-cream…all we do here is strategically place a wafer on top. That too only half…and we don`t do that to cut costs. Doesn`t half of a wafer look like a sail?

Mad Rush
We have this reserved for all those who come, take four chairs each to sit and hang around for hours together…thus spoiling our business. Once you have this…you will have this mad rush to visit the nearest loo. By the way, we don`t have a loo around here.

Knock Out
Even Mike Tyson had a black out when he saw our bill for this offering. Better watch out…this one sure packs a punch.

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at or message him at +919650080255.

3 replies on “Ice-creams”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *