Lying increases the creative faculties, expands the ego, and lessens the frictions of social contacts.
– Clare Booth Luce

(Now you know why I lie so much)

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not ‘Eureka!’ (I found it!) but ‘That’s funny …’
– Isaac Asimov

(Like when I turned into a cannibal for a day and ate a clown and exclaimed, “That`s funny!”)

Nobody will ever win the Battle of the Sexes. There’s just too much fraternizing with the enemy.
– Henry Kissinger

(Now you know why nobody wins at my home)

Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.
– George Burns

(Makes you wonder why George Bush`s saloon didn`t break-even)

If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.
– Abraham Lincoln

(I am not the only confused soul in town)

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.
-Dudley Moore

(Looks like the cops the World over are like those we find in India)

From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
– Groucho Marx

(I am glad he died in 1977, else he would have said the same for my proposed book)

Update: Thirty minutes after I put up these quotes on Ouchmytoe, a gentleman mailed me. He asked: “So, where do you get such nice quotes from?”

I replied: “You know…times have changed. It is hard to get good quotes these days. So, I end up making them up myself!”

The gentleman is yet to reply. Wonder why.

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at or message him at +919650080255.

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