My 150 seconds at traffic signals

I generally don`t get caught in traffic. Perhaps it has to do with the way I ride my Yamaha after marriage. Like me, most men slow down (in everything) after tying the nuptial knot. After a kid is born, they grind to a halt. In short, now-a-days I am so slow that when I reach the signal it invariably turns to green.

But then man was never destined to be lucky. If that were true, he would have born a woman. As a result, I do get caught in some traffic signals…and here is my thought process during those 150 seconds.

When I see the Honda City standing next to me
Stupid guy…must be his dad`s money. Look at his belly…I am sure he can`t run 100 meters to save his life. Wonder what music he is listening to. I am sure he likes Spice Girls and Britney Spears…

When I see a pretty girl on a Kinetic Honda…
Shucks! Did I get married too soon? They started making them beautiful these days. Should have waited for the next batch to be released before deciding on marriage. Should I go and park next to her? Her hair looks good…wonder how she would look when she removes the helmet.

When I see young un-married couple on their bike
Wonder if the guy has already agreed to marry her. Poor guy…he thinks he is going to have lots of fun. Doesn`t know that the girl he is with now is just a demo version. And the girl…wonder what she is after…his looks? Or his money? Or both…as it happened in my case.

When I see old married couples on a scooter
How peaceful and happy they look. Guess time is a big healer. The man would have been her driver for at least 40 years or so. Wonder when he decided to give up the fight and accept the changes marriage brought. The lady looks dominative…wonder if she pinches him when he snores in his sleep.

A Maruti 800 driver who honks his way to glory thus piquing me
Dude, you have just bought a second hand Maruti 800…and I don`t think you need to show off. Perhaps, it is stolen. You changed the number plate to avoid getting caught. I might only have a Yamaha…but at least it looks cleaner and new (now, this is a big, fat lie) and is not stolen. Can you please be quite and let the big boys make the noise?

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at or message him at +919650080255.

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