My medical check-up

Those that don`t watch BBC or CNN`s primetime news bulletin are probably not aware that I have quit my Sports Editor`s job at Not much of a Sports Editor, but still.

I will be joining American International Group ( as their Corporate Communication guy.

Is the move good or bad? I don`t know yet. By the time I know…it would be too late. Didn`t somebody very popular….hmm…whatshisname….say that “Experience is a comb that life gives you when you are completely bald.”

Anyways, for this shift I had to undergo a medical test. While fixing up the appointment, I was asked if I was ok with a lady doctor.

“Sir, you are asking for an appointment at 10 a.m. and only a lady doctor will be available. Are you ok being examined by a lady.”

I looked around, and finding no one listening, replied: “Sure, I have no problems. Would this be a thorough check-up?”

“Yes sir.”

“Great. I am looking forward to it. Will be at the clinic by 10 a.m. sharp.” The lady did not understand the reason behind my enthusiasm.

Now I had to prepare for the ‘thorough` medical check up. So, on Wednesday morning…I shaved. Took bath. And shampooed my hair. Never before have I done all three on the same day.

I sprayed an extra dose of my Axe-Effect. And when Rekha was not noticing, I applied her Oil of Olay moisturizer all over my body for that shiny, smooth feel. The preparation was not just external. I also picked up my best undergarments for the occasion.

Rekha did get suspicious. She asked: You going for the medical check up, right?

“Yes, why do you ask?”

“Looks like you going on a date,” she exclaimed. She came close to me…and stared right into my eye. I stared back into her eyes, and her threat was conveyed to me through something more powerful than the blue-tooth technology. Am glad she could hold her own against the fumes of Axe-Effect escaping through the slits between my shirt buttons.

She would go on: “Remember, it is not like the old days when you could flirt at will. Now we are married and equations have changed.” That did dampen my ambitions a bit.

I landed at the clinic 15 minutes ahead of time. I needed to wash my face and apply some powder I had safely packed in my handkerchief.

The moment I had been waiting for arrived, and I was ushered in the lady doctor`s room. She was pretty al right. A little on the plumb side…but that`s the way I like my doctors – healthy.

I wanted to strike a chord right away. “Good morning Doc!”

She did not reply. That was a put off, but I didn`t budge. My morale was still hitting the roof.

“Nice day, eh Doctor.” I said.

“Yes. Now, take a deep breath.” By now she had placed her stethoscope on my chest. She did her regular check ups and then looked me straight in the eye. That excited me. But everything came crashing down when she asked: “Since when have you been wearing those glasses?”

“It came free, when I was born,” I tried to joke. But the Doc was not enthused.

I must have stayed in that room for 15 minutes, but there was no ‘thorough` medical examination. A very disappointed me, got up to leave the room when the doctor stopped me and said: “Give this receipt to the nurse at the counter. The same nurse will examine you physically.”

If not a doctor, at least a nurse. I was OK with a consolation prize.

I walked up to the counter and produced the receipt. A guy asked me to follow him to a room and then closed the door behind him. And then the physical check-up began.

By the way, did you know that male medical assistants are also known as nurses?

(Those of you who depend on my Yahoo Status Message to reach my blog, suggest pls add me in your favourites list coz I won’t be on Yahoo Messenger for long. That is if it is worth the effort.)

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at or message him at +919650080255.

2 replies on “My medical check-up”

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