On why I hate Nursery Rhymes

I have nothing against Nursery Rhymes. Yet, when I was a kid I always thought they were a big fat lie.

Perhaps, I matured too early or perhaps I was just incorrigible. Either ways I was not what other kids my age were. They all enjoyed nursery rhymes.

I realized I was different when I blushed when my teacher said these lines –

“Jack and Jill went up the hill.”

My shyness gave way to anger when she lied in the next line –

“To fetch a pail of water.”

“Yeah right!”, was all I could say. But I looked around and the whole class was enjoying the rhyme in the belief that Jack and Jill actually went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Only I knew that they actually went up the hill to steal a kiss.

And then they sang –

Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are.
Up above the world so high,
Like a diamond in the sky.
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are!

How stupid could we have got. We were calling it a “Star” and in the same breath we were also singing “How I wonder what you are.”

As if that was not enough we moved on to –
Rain rain go away, come again another day.
Rain rain go away, come again another day.
Woke up this morning,
To a brand new day.
Nothing’s gonna stop me or get in my way.
Rain hail or shine,
I’m ready for it all.
I’m feeling right on top,
(feeling right on top),
And I’m never gonna fall.

This was the pits…I mean Chennai got rain only once a year and that too for three days…and here we kids were asking the all-important rain to go away so that we could play. Considering that all kids (except me) were innocent…I am sure God would have wanted to full-fill their wishes. Now you know why there is no rain in Chennai (and other parts of the country).

I hear this nursery rhyme was written in Britain, where the weather is always gloomy.

Talking of gloom, I am reminded of another of my not-so-favorite rhyme –

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall,
All the king’s horses and all the king’s men,
Couldn’t put Humpty Dumpty together again.

Click Here to read the Legend behind this Rhyme

I could never comprehend this rhyme. What was the logic? I mean some fat old hunk called Humpty Dumpty (or were they two people – Dumpty was the twin brother of Humpty?) sat on a wall and had a fall. Why should the King`s men worry about it? Or his horses, for that matter. I am yet to understand why we were asked to sing this rhyme.

Anyways, since I never had a say in matters of importance…I kept going to the same school. But one thing is sure – my son/daughter is not going to a school that teaches Rhymes. And that leaves me with the nearby Karate school….and the Driving school!

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at jv.rajan@gmail.com or message him at +919650080255.

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