This picture of Microsoft boss Bill Gates was taken after a traffic violation on April 29, 1975. The Albuquerque Police department would arrest him two more times on charges of speeding and driving without a license.
Not surprisingly, details of the arrest have been lost over time. Did somebody just say that the data was stored in computers?
I have realized that we can drastically improve the transport system of the World…we only need radical thinkers like me and a load of money.
Instead of some 10,000 bikes and cars burning fuel (and rubber) on the road to move ahead…how would it be if the vehicles stay put and the road moved? Our scientist President could devise a methodology to move the road like an escalator. He can`t always spend time with the children…he needs to work too.
To start with, only the arterial (or simply put…the main) roads will have this escalator like facility.
When I start from home, I will use the regular tar roads to reach the escalator-roads and then put my Yamaha on the stand, and sit on it. The other bikers will follow suit. The cars and other vehicles will get onto the road and switch off their vehicles. Imagine the amount of petrol/diesel we would save.
All this while, the escalator-roads will keep moving forward…at its own speed. If the speed limit on that road is 40 kms/hour it is enough if the operator of the escalator-road follows the rule. We guys just wait for the next stop where we get off the escalator-road and move on to the tar-road.
This way…besides the fuel costs, we can also cut down on the huge salaries (read Rs 5,000…why do you think they are corrupt?) traffic policemen get. We won`t need the Highway Patrol because nobody would be speeding and hence nobody to chase. The accidents will also be less…so less of Doctors and Nurses…we can save on their salaries too.
With less of accidents, the Insurance companies won`t have to shell out insurance money to every 10th person. They will definitely stand to gain…and thus would want to sponsor more such roads. It would not occur to them then that if all the roads in the World are safe, why would anybody insure at all? And big insurance companies will start investing in escalator-roads.
Now, the journey from my house to office takes 45 minutes and I spend so much of my energy trying to avoid hitting other vehicles and trying to chase pretty girls on Kinetic Hondas. All this energy could be better used…probably to write love letters, which I could handover to the girls sitting on Kinetic Hondas, waiting for the escalator-road to reach their office.
Soon, there would be tea-shops and/or smoke-shops where you can recharge yourself while you are traveling. These shops will do brisk business because the travelers won`t have anything else to do. Eventually, demand for white shirts will come down. Don`t get the connection…it is easy. After all, the escalator-roads would be moving when the people try and have a tea/coffee…and who likes a coffee-stained white shirt?
The good thing is…there would be no traffic-jams and no man-holes. I would miss them. In fact…all will miss them. It is difficult to be suddenly pulled apart from something you have lived with for 30 years.
There will be no traffic lights too. The existing ones will be pulled apart by the street urchins and sold to the kabadi wala. The remaining will be termed historic monuments by the Archaeological Society of India. Soon we would have functions where the President of India and the Prime Minister come and lay wreaths at the traffic lights in memory of all those that lost their lives in the days of the tar-roads.
The escalator-roads would become popular with the users and soon the tar-roads will become extinct. Remember, the Insurance companies are investing in escalator-roads?
All the roads would now travel, and people will bring their bikes and cars and wait for the roads to reach their destination…after which they would roll out in their cars/bikes and reach home.
This would continue for more than 50 years …and one day some radical thinker like me would write an article on why the people don`t need cars and bikes (and other vehicles) to travel by road. If they have to just sit, why do they need cars…won`t wooden chairs do?
Check out this site. Real cool….if you have two items/words/countries/persons in mind and want to know which is more popular (for eg. cricket or baseball, India or Pakistan, Sony or Philips etc)..just visit this site and type in the keywords. And press the ‘Make A Fight` button.
Needless to say, I tried to Make A Fight between “Rekha” and “Rajan” and surprisingly I won. Here is the proof.
The Cricket Blog has reached 10,000 Page Views. This has been possible thanks to the traffic it has been generating in the last three days. Here is the break-up of the numbers who have visited the Cricket Blog in the last three days.
Tuesday – 2730
Wednesday – 2107
Thursday – 2247 (and still counting)
Here are some more statistics on the Cricket Blog….anybody wants to sponsor an ad-banner? 😉
Listed here are 99 most desirable women in the World. This is a list prepared by AskMen.com. If you haven`t been to the site before…please do. It is an awesome site..very useful for men. And it is equally useful for women because they get an insight into a man`s mind.
You might not find my wife Rekha`s profile among the 99 women listed there …shucks…did I just give away the plot? Did I bluntly put that she makes up the 100?
BTW, did you know that ladies are called women because they “woo” men? Here are some more names that I could think of –
– Scoldmen
– Beatmen
– Pitymen
– Disagreemen
– Hatemen
– Abhormen
– Detestmen
– Objectmen
– Dislikemen
– Loathemen
– Spitmen
– Despisemen
– Censuremen
– Denouncemen
– Hurtmen
– Lamentmen
– Rejectmen
– Scornmen
– Snubmen
– Trashmen
– Negletmen
– Shunmen
Don`t the women indulge in all of the above mentioned…a lot more than wooing? I definitely think so. Rekha, you called me? Here I come…………
Don`t believe me? Just re-run your prayers before God, in the last one-week and you would realize the kind of trouble he/she is in. His/her stocks rise and fall at the Bombay Stock exchange, depending on how good a day we have had.
Today morning, after my bath I found myself facing all the deities (for convenience sake, let us assume that there is one God) displayed in my house and requesting him/her for a black Mercedes Benz by the time I turn 40, a healthy son and a daughter, a successful book launch and a law-abiding citizen for a wife.
Mind you, this is not an easy prayer to full-fill. If a simpleton like me could have such a prayer, imagine the psychos.
What would a typical psycho`s prayer be? Here is a sample –
“Dear Lord, today I am planning to slice a lady`s throat. Please ensure there is no policeman is around, and even if there is one let him be a traffic policeman. After that I intend to escape on my Yamaha. Please let me not encounter a flat tire while rushing away from the spot, and even if I do get a flat and get arrested…I pray that I don`t get a death sentence.”
Here is a sixth standard student`s prayer –
“Dear God, I hope the Maths teacher doesn`t come to school today. Even if she comes, I hope she doesn`t ask me any questions. I pray that Babloo-the-Bully is sick and cannot come to school. On second thoughts, why don`t you organize for some rain, so that there is no school? Tomorrow, India will be playing Pakistan…please give me a toothache. Please God, make sure I suffer from something good enough to hold me back, and watch cricket on TV.
Here is a college student`s prayer (hope they still pray….we used to, but those were the 90s) –
Man…I need that girl. She is hot. Hey…Vishnu dude…you got to believe me. She is just like that babe standing next to you…what do you call her? Laaks? I have got the hots for this girl called Anamika…cannot you do something so that she comes right after me? Ok cool..here is a deal. Agreed Anamika is too cool for me. How about fixing me up with Pratima?
Here is an IT professional`s prayer –
Hey Dude (that`s the way they address God)…please ensure that my Project Leader gets another job, and leaves this shit-hole so that I can become a PL soon. Also, that Rakesh has got his US Visa…why don`t you arrange one for me? Please. I need to go to the US…everybody in my team has already been there at least once. And bought back good stuff too.
My prayers have always bordered on the extremes…evolving with time. And I am sure; they are the same for you too. But some prayers never change…like the one where I ask for a life-partner who would listen to me.
Imagination has no shape…no color…no direction. In the given link…it is aptly signified. Give it a try. Let loose your imagination. Just don`t lose it; you might be thrown out of your job. And I am not recruiting any sooner.
With the India vs Pakistan cricket series in full swing, I thought it only made sense to update my Cricket Blog.
This blog has been attracting atleast 200 people in the last one week. And it is only going to grow as the series progresses.
Would be great if you could link this blog from yours. I am expecting my Cricket Blog to get a Google Page Rank of 5 before the series gets over. This means, you also gain by linking this Blog to yours.
Some proof of its excellent performance – this blog tops when searched for
India vs Pakistan live scores
India vs Pakistan cricket schedule
India vs Pakistan Television Rights
India vs Pakistan cricket scores
Cricket Blog
Let me know once you have linked it…so that I can reciprocate 🙂