Scene Connery

Back in the days when I was in Madurai doing my Grade X, I was a pretty innocent fella. There was this theatre called VijayaLakshmi, which would lure us innocents into the blackhole called life by showing us porno flicks.

The theatre would run movies like My Tutor, The Excellent Companion, For Your Sake, Let Us Do it…and many more such wacky titles. The show would start at 10.30 a.m. every Sunday and would go on for an hour. There would be an interval half way through the movie. Nobody would last the full hour. Later I would come to know that it is called, staying power.

Initially, I was hesitant coz I was scared of all my relatives who lived in the area. But advice from a friend in need solved the issue. He said, “Boss, if anybody close enough asks you what you doing in the theatre, just throw back the same question.”

His suggestion came as Manna from heaven and I became a regular. Pity they did not have membership cards. But, if you are a student I suggest you do not go to that theatre coz there are no student discounts.

Soon, my area friends realized I was missing out on all the badminton and cricket they would start off early on Sunday mornings. The curious cats they were, one by one…the whole gang joined me at the theatre, every Sunday. Our parents never really wanted us to roast in the sun and were only glad to note our absence from the play field.

The movies were never hard-core pornos. They would be regular English movies that failed to get the production money …peppered with maybe one reel of porn appearing on the screens…all of a sudden…and from God knows where.

Most of these movies had Sean Connery in the lead. Needless to say, we thought Sean Connery was actually `Scene` Connery!

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at or message him at +919650080255.

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