Shopping carts can be dangerous

Shopping in the malls isn`t as easy as it used to be, say…five years back. And I say this after spending my weekend hours of the last six months, in shopping malls.

If like me you are also married and spend a lot of your free time in the malls, you would probably agree that shopping carts are a nuisance. So much so, I get dreams of people riding the roads (and highways) on shopping carts. And since I saw this dream in the early morning hours, I fear it could soon be a reality. After all, no license is required for handling a shopping cart.

If you don`t take me seriously and organize a candle light vigil outside Dr Manmohan Singh`s residence….YOU might soon be putting down your car window and shouting: “Mind your shopping cart, you bastard!” I prefer to use ‘a$$hole`.

Since there is no license even if you are mentally unstable, you can get behind a shopping cart and hurtle down the road. While on the subject, what if your poetry teacher asks you to write a poem describing a shopping cart in the hands of a lunatic?

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Simple. Here goes –

A dangerous tool,
In the hands of a fool.

I was in Reliance Super, recently and almost got run over by a seven year old pushing a shopping cart. It is another thing that sometimes shopping carts move by themselves (down the slopes) and injure you…but when a gum-chewing, 14-year-old with his red velvet underwear showing above his jeans pushes a shopping cart into you….it is time to do a reality check. Life inside a shopping mall is no easier than on the MG Road outside it (have you wondered why every city has a MG Road?).

But before I got run over by this 14-year-old, I had my bit of struggle getting the shopping cart from their line-up at the entrance. After a lot of pushing and shoving – in which I hurt my fingers twice and my leg once – I managed to get one shopping cart for myself. I made my daughter sit in the place provided for her. A tired husband, who just can`t hold on to the baby while the mother is trying on the different shades of L` Oreal lipsticks, must have invented the baby seat in the cart. Hats off, sir!

The shopping carts in India don`t come with safety belts and ABS (Anti-Braking System)…and thus I had to trust God Almighty and start pushing my shopping cart. The good thing about shopping in pairs is that one can hunt down the items, while the other can push the cart and keep the baby entertained.

By the time we had finished, I had opened up a Maggi Rice Noodles pack, used Teflon`s Microwave Friendly Bowl, started an on-display Samsung M183DN Microwave (the one with 20 Liters capacity and six power levels – the salesman said so), and cooked noodles….and then spread them on my head so my daughter could laugh.

To cut the long story short, shopping carts are dangerous. Besides, on not finding a Bar Code on my daughter, the boy at the billing counter gave her to another agent and asked him to fetch a similar piece BUT with the bar code!

Other Funny Reads

# Buying a pram for my daughter
# Television – my new friend, philosopher & guide
# Accepting gifts from relatives
# Buying a Microwave oven
# Getting my hair cut under a tree

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at or message him at +919650080255.

8 replies on “Shopping carts can be dangerous”

Now theres a picture missing in this post.

If only there would have been a latest camera on display, we could hv cought a glimpse of u with Maggi rice noodles laid on ur head 🙂

Missing pictures:

1) Jammy pushing a shopping cart with lovely Rhea in it…
2) Desperate looking Jammy when a 14-year old tries to push the cart into him
3) Jammy spreading Maggi noodles on his head and a puzzled look on Rhea!
4) Confused Jammy when the boy at the billing counter was busy searching for the bar code on Rhea….

hi Mr.Rajan,
Stumbled upon your blog accidently
a few weeks ago, am glad I did ….found light humor(not meant to be taken seriously) that you put so well in words…something makes me believe you are not as sexist as you appear to be….also, man, your imagination runs wilder than what Alice saw in the rabbit hole….

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