Smoking, a virtue

Nobody has ever said good things about a smoker. Wonder why.

If I exchanged places with you, I am sure you would also look up to smokers. I know it is difficult to be in my shoes, especially since they are one size less and smell a lot, but still it is worth a try for all the good it would bring to your life.

Smoking gives me an excuse to not brush daily. What a waste of time, money and water. If God had wanted me to brush, I would have had bristle-like hair on my index finger. But I do not.

My Doc tells me I might have holes in my lungs. Amusing for somebody as knowledgeable as my Doc to say that and get upset over. After all, it is these holes that will help me by-pass blood and distribute Oxygen through out my body. They are more helpful as my Red Blood Corpuscles (RBCs) are anyways lethargic.

In fact, smoking helps me keep a tab on my fitness levels. I know when I am straining myself for I start panting. Pity all those who never know how many stairs they can climb. I can manage two flights.

The habit saves me money in ways more than one. When my colleagues are rushing to the food court for lunch, I just need a glass of water. Guess, it is lack of appetite, but I am not complaining if I can save Rs 30.

While on smoking, I have to tell you about this movie in which Anthony Hopkins is a cop who has decided to shoot a cowboy, played by Kevin Costner. The cop grants the cowboy his last wish…to which the latter says he wants to have his last smoke. At the mere mention of a smoke, the visibly upset cop ends up saying, “You know, smoking could kill you?”

OK…ok…I wrote the script. The climax needed a smoking gun…

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at or message him at +919650080255.

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