I promise, I didn’t write this. No, seriously. What you are going to read is the funniest letter ever written by a mother to her son. This letter was written by a Sardani mother to her son in Canada. Where else!
Let me assure you that we can’t stereotype sardars. Some of them are intelligent. Here is a short story of how Ikroop Singh, a sardar classmate of mine in class ten stumped me. Ikroop Singh despite his turban continued to hold fort that he was not a Sardar. In order to finally corner him into submission, I asked: “OK, agreed that you are not a sardar. Just tell me in which state were you born?”
He said: “State of Denial.”
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Here is the funniest letter ever written by a mother to her son
Pyare Puttar,
I am in a well here and hoping you are also in a well there. I’m writing this letter slowly, because I know you cannot read fast. We don’t live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 20miles. I won’t be able to send the address as the last Sardar who stayed here took the house numbers with them for their new house so they would not have to change their address.
Hopefully by next week we will be able to take our earlier address plate here, and that our address will remain same too. This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine, situated right above the toilet I’m not sure it works too well.Last week I put in 3 shirts, pulled the chain and haven’t seen them since.
The weather here isn’t too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days.The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket.
Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass at the cemetery.
By the way I took Bahu to our club’s poolside. The manager is badmash. He told her that two piece swimming suit is not allowed in his club. We were confused as to which piece should we remove?
Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven’t found out whether it is a girl or a boy, so I don’t know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle.
Your uncle, Jetinder fell in the nearby well. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.
Your best friend, Balwinder, is no more. He died trying to fulfill his father’s last wishes. His father had wished to be buried in the sea after he died. And your friend died while in the process of digging a grave for his father.
There isn’t much more news this time. Nothing much has happened. Wanted to write longer but the envelope is already sealed.
Live long
Your dear mother
Jaswanto
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