Tag: Politics

Arvind Kejriwal has become the butt end of all jokes in recent times. Why not…in his enthusiasm, he has been creating a lot of opportunities for jokes. So here goes a list of jokes on the man who is currently ruling Delhi.

Joke 1: Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that he actually tests the level of salt in Colgate Active Salt tooth paste

Joke 2: Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that he never skips Youtube ads

Joke 3: Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that he always removes USB safely

Joke 4: Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that when he finds the bomb he returns it to the terrorist

Joke 5: Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that he got his wife’s brother arrested for stealing his shoes during his marriage ceremony

Joke 6: Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that he cooks maggie only for 2 minutes

Joke 7: Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that he actually “rolls on the floor laughing” when he texts ROFL

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Joke 8: Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that he finds an “honest” justification to turn back on every promise he ever made

Joke 9: Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that when his wife once asked him if he could get moon for her, he called up ISRO to launch Chandrayaan-1

Joke 10: Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that he hates the song ‘love the way you lie’

Joke 11: Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that once he filed a case against a Halwai because there were neither Gulabs nor Jaamuns in GulabJamun.

Joke 12: Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that whenever he downloads a movie online, he buys a ticket to see it

Joke 13: Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that no woman has ever asked him “Do I look fat in this?”

Joke 14: Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that he seeks his wife permission to keep extra marital affairs.

Joke 15: Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that he gives you a business card that says “nobody”

Joke 16: Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that he likes Shakira’s Hips because “They Don’t Lie”.

Joke 17: Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that he surrenders himself to Police after killing a mosquito.

Joke 18: Arvind Kejriwal is so honest He refused to watch Bodyguard because he does not want security.

Joke 19: Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that he is the only one to buy a Winrar licence.

Joke 20: Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that when he throws a party he calls the cops himself after 10 pm

Joke 21: Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that he told his kids “How I met your mother” in less than a minute

Joke 22: Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that he got his memory card arrested when it got corrupted

Joke 23: Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that when he was a kid, he clicked on “I am below 18 years” on porn websites.

Joke 24: Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that if u find meaning of Honesty on Google it will say “Did u mean Kejriwal”

Joke 25: Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that if he skip red-light by mistake, he take a U-turn to stop before Red light

Dear Modi ji, 

It all started with a smile. The smile of a woman. A pretty woman. 

Fair to say, it started dangerously. 

After all, the only thing more dangerous than a smiling woman is another smiling woman. 

It was a ‘red eye’ flight to Madurai. We were leaving Delhi’s polluted air behind and going to pollute the air of Madurai. 

Diwali, you see.

My wife and kids were sitting in one row, while I was in the next. 

A tall, handsome man sat to my right, and I had decided not to initiate a conversation with him. 

I usually prefer conversing with strangers I look down upon – this tactic makes me a confident conversationalist. 

Since this guy was tall, I was looking up to him. 

Getting back to the smile – it was that of a pretty air hostess walking towards me. 

As she walked towards me, she seemed innocent. The harmful influence of a boyfriend hadn’t yet corrupted her. 

I tried to fill the small airline seat, and look formidable, but she saw through my plan. 

She turned towards the tall, handsome man sitting next to me and asked, “Sir, would you mind sitting next to the emergency door?” 

I saw her innocence fly out through the closed airplane windows. “What a vamp!” I remember muttering under my breath. 

“Of course, darling!” He replied. He then held her hand and walked towards the emergency door. 

Dear Modi ji, I may be imagining the word ‘darling’ and the fact that they held hands as she walked him to the seat next to the emergency door, but you must know that I am the victim here. 

Being only 165 cms (5 feet 4 inch) tall, I have been a victim all my life. 

Indian women prefer ‘tall, dark, and handsome’ men, and all my life, I have been scoring 33.33% – for I only cross one of the above three requirements. 

At 44 years, I am now done being a victim. 

I want to be the man that I never thought I could be till I saw you at the end of the proverbial tunnel – as my only ray of hope. 

This open letter is directed towards you for two reasons – 

1. I know that UNESCO has selected you as the best Prime Minister in the World, and I always go for the best that’s available
2. Some of my friends are your ardent fans, and they tell me that you are the answer to all of the World’s problems

Dear Modi Ji, now that I have your attention, let me explain my life’s problems in a little more detail. 

When the air hostess didn’t invite me to sit at the seat next to the Emergency door, she was only playing out the script written for me from the beginning.

It had all started when I joined a school where I had to be the first in the assembly line.

My school days started with 20 minutes of the nerve-wracking assembly session, where the Principal stared down my throat and saw what I had had for breakfast.

Unlike you, exposure hasn’t been my forte. I don’t flourish under watchful eyes. 

My pride took a running plunge from the bridge on Vaigai river the day I figured that I would never be able to sit on my BSA SLR cycle and keep my feet on the ground. 

When in college, while traveling by Pallavan Transport Corporation’s public buses, I had to hold the chrome-finished poles instead of grips hanging from the top. 

The worst part was when a child sharing the pole with me would look up and give me a smirk. I almost always heard them say, “I am definitely going to be taller than that!”

This awareness about my body’s limitations would later force me to buy a Yamaha RX100 when all I ever wanted in my life was a Royal Enfield. 

Nothing changed when I bought a car. I had to slide the driver’s seat as close to the steering wheel as possible, and even then, I had trouble reaching for the pedals. 

Even with a car, it was difficult to land girlfriends. 

Even though at 165 cms (5 feet 4 inches), I am as tall as an average Indian, I haven’t been able to live the life of a tall Indian. 

I want to understand from you how, despite having a 50-inch chest, you have been living the life of a man with a 56-inch chest?

Yours sincerely,
– A 165 cms short gentleman who wants to lead the life of a 180 cms tall dude