Men and Women

What if there were no women in the World

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What if there were no women in the World is a question difficult to answer but before we try to answer that lets try and figure out how women made it to the World, in the first place.

Some say that Adam got bored and asked God to give him a companion and God responded with a woman. Some say, God wanted Adam to sacrifice his one leg and one hand if he wanted a companion and when Adam asked what he could get for a rib, God sent him a woman. The story goes on to say that the woman was delivered with a note sticking to her forehead “This is the best I can give for a rib! Sorry buddy.”

None of this can be believed, though.

However there is documented proof (and the women will vouch for this) that God first made man and having warmed up he came up with a better creation – the woman. (Did I just hear the ladies clap?)

Anyways, I was just wondering what would have happened if God didn`t bring woman into this World. With no women in this World, all the men would have been left to fend for themselves. I mean, all of us do fend for ourselves from time to time, but imagine mastrubation being the only option?

Without women, how will we become fathers? Without women, who will tell us that we were going to become fathers? Without women, for whom will we sit outside a gynecologist’s and imagine a conspiracy theory being hatched against us? If the world didn’t have women, there would be so many questions which would arise. Unless of course, the men didn’t even realize that there were no women in the World. Considering the attention span attributed to the men by the women, thats a possibility too.

But dear women, please don’t get upset with the men who don’t realize that you aren’t even there. For these are the gentlemen. It is the male chauvinistic pigs who will miss you big time, if women were to vanish from the face of Earth or if women were never there to start with. Who will make their tea in the morning? Without the women, who will wash and iron their clothes? Who will warm their water for their bath? With no woman in this world, who will stand in the doorway and wave a good bye when the man is leaving? In the evening who will make hot piping coffee when the man comes back home?

An MCP or a gentleman, with time all men will start missing the women. With no woman in this World, life wouldn`t be the same. Imagine living with another man in your house. Scary! Without women, all men will be gays. Wonder how the human race will propagate. Perhaps we would have found out a way to make test tube babies, but even then where would be egg come from? Gorillas? Wouldn`t that make the Human race huge and hairy?

On Saturday nights, the pubs and clubs would be full of men trying to woo each other. The only advantage as I see would be that we wouldn`t have to buy mocktails, dinners, ice-cream and pop-corn to get laid. That and the fact that the world will be full of sports, beer and expensive gadgets.

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Like I said earlier, the question what if there were no women in the World is difficult to imagine and answer. So lets all pray that women are here to stay.

Men and Women

Why every woman wants to be a bear in next life

In this life I’m a woman. In my next life, I’d like to come back as a bear. When you are a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you are supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that, too.

When you are a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you are sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.

If you are a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.

If you are a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling and not glowing. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

Yup… I am gonna be a bear.

Why bears are like women
Because both bears and women are almost always “bearly” dressed 😉

Note: I didn’t write this. Got this as a forward.