Tea, coffee or vodka?

Any day, I would prefer Vodka to tea or coffee. But since, they don`t allow liquor in my office, I take tea breaks.

Being content with tea doesn`t mean that I like it. No grudge against all those thousands of malayalee tea-walas who have single-handedly taken over the profession from the locals, but I don`t seem to like the beverage.

Talking of the Malayalee dominance in the tea industry takes my breath away. While Kerala contributes less than 1 per cent of the tea production in India, more than 90 per cent of the tea makers are Malayalees. Legend has it that when Neil Armstrong became the first man to land on the moon in 1969, a Malayalee, with familiar sounding words, “Chetta chaya”, thrust a cup of tea in his face.

Guess I am in the wrong country. Russia or Ukraine would have been a better bet for the vodka lover in me.

From my mother, to my sisters, to Rekha…everyone has tried to make the tea taste good. But somehow their efforts have failed to impress me. From milk, sugar, cardamom, cinnamon, red chilli, lemon, rum, blah, blah, blah…everything has been tried but every concoction lacked the killer punch.

Besides, there are all these fancy names which fail to register, leave alone make sense.
1) Ginger lemon tea
2) Lemon themed tea
3) Mint & lemon tea
4) Stash Moroccan mint green tea
5) French mint tea
6) Hibiscus mint tea

Now you know why I still prefer vodka to the home brewed stuff.

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at jv.rajan@gmail.com or message him at +919650080255.

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