Sleep while you can

For the last four days I have been coming from office at 12 midnight. Thank heavens my wife Rekha is in Kerala. I topped this performance last night (or today morning!) by leaving office at 3.30 a.m.. No surprise considering we launched an application called Chak De Girls, on ibibo.

In the last five days I have realized the sleep is an important part of man`s life. Perhaps that`s why I am home today and its just 10 p.m.. Those that work in the IT sector would understand…the others can start counting the sheep till they get some sleep.

RSS Feed IconRekha is back from Kerala on December 2, and I hope by that time I (and my boss!) is done with the tight schedule. Coz, I don`t want my daughter to grow up and wonder: “Who is that dark skinned man, who visits mom every night?”

Till it started getting tough at, I had made it a habit of sleeping at 10 p.m. because my favorite dream started at 10.30 p.m. sharp. My favorite dream involved me eating a giant, white, creamy cake…and then burping. Well…to be honest with you, that was my favorite dream only till Rekha told me that we overshot the monthly budget because we had to buy 30 pillows last month!

While on the topic of sleeping, I have to tell you what my strict Armyman father did to wake me up early in the morning.

He thought that sleep was Satan`s doing and shouldn`t be indulged in. Perhaps, that`s why he would sit with us (me and my two sisters) and give us dictation till it was 10 p.m.. If only there was Fashion TV in the 80s, me and my sisters would have slept early.

While going to bed, all three would place a soap wrapper (Lyril, in our case) under our pillow because Ikroop Singh – my 5th standard classmate – had made an accidental discovery and wanted all of us to reap the benefits. Apparently, if you kept a soap wrapper (without the soap, of course) under your pillow while going to sleep…one tends to get up early. There is no proof, but it seemed to work. I would get up every day at 5.30 a.m. to see if the wrapper was there and it hadn`t moved from under the pillow.

My mother and my father had different approaches to my sleep habits. Coincidentally, both involved water.

My mother thought that if I drank loads of water in the night, I would get up at 5.30 a.m. to visit the loo and thus get into a habit of getting up early. The arrogant kid that I was, I didn`t go according to my mother`s plan. I pissed in the bed around 2.30-3.00 a.m. and spent sleepless two hours or so because of damp clothes, and then sleep heavy at 5.30 a.m.. When I continued to piss in bed even in the ninth standard (which was exposed to the whole World when we went on a Scouts expedition) my mother gave up her trials.

Click Here to read Ouchmytoe in a Feed ReaderMy father`s rules were simple if one doesn`t obey orders make his/her life miserable. After 5.35 a.m. he would stop giving orders, and instead dip his hand in water and sprinkle it on our face. Believe me, as a child early morning sleep is the best because you are dreaming of chocolates, toys, and cakes…and for it to be dampened by a spray of water is bad. This would be followed by a handful of water and if I still managed to stay in bed, a mug full of water would be on its way.

If you have been woken up like this by your parents, I am sure you still nurture that grudge. Perhaps, you might want to join the SPRAY (Society for Parent`s Real Abuse of You) or STEEP (Society Towards β€˜Enema-ing` Erring Parents) to take revenge.

But if you are 45 plus and have a kid who might be joining either SPRAY or STEEP, you might want to ensure your safety by enrolling at SPRINKLE (Society of Parents in India with Naughty Kids, Lambs and Eels).

Now, for some sleep….zzzzz

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at or message him at +919650080255.

15 replies on “Sleep while you can”

continuous late nights for a few nights.. But still finding time to blog on the one day in which u came home early(!).. it seems ur ‘army’ dad had taught u some discpline too.. :).. Hope to see some posts on that.. πŸ™‚

when wife is not around husband gets energetic to work out, but few days without her tak tak, its sunyaavkas

well so this blog tells whole of your family history; good for first time readers

What are you complaining about. 4 nights past midnight and one past 3 in the morning? We regularly used to keep this time and we were not launching any application. We were into far more superior activity. And yes it involved water.

Robin…I wish I was as disciplined. had it not been for people like you, who respond to my comments…I wud probably be a wine shop owner in the evenings. BTW…did you know that in south india ( at least Tamil nadu) all liqour stores are known as wine shops

PRG….we do all the hard work and my sales & marketing team celebrates with ‘water’ when any new product goes live. In my next birth…I wud want to be the marketing guy with nothing much to do. please pray for me…

Don’t talk bad about the marketing people. They are the people who bring in the moolah. You touched a very raw nerve there.

You’re lucky the water was not thrown in your face in the early morning as I have heard happen to various people. Talk about a rude awakening. Things could be worse.

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