The politics I know….

After watching some political leaders fight it out on TV, I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians. It is time we gave other professionals – Doctors, Engineers, Software developers, Photographers – a chance to rule the nation.

Agreed, we are a democracy. Agreed, people like you and I can get on radio or TV and kid our politicians. But does that give our politicians a right to appear on TV and kid us?

I know, there are a few good politicians out there. People like P Chidambaram, Dr Manmohan Singh, Jaswant Singh etc. But the rest of the 95% are giving this 5% of good netas a very bad name.

I would not want to name the politician here. “What is in a name? A politician by any name would smell the same.” No, Shakespeare did not say this.

Watching the politician do a somersault while on TV was quite a pissing experience. No wonder, somebody once said “politicians are like diapers. They need to be changed regularly for the same reason.”

There was a time when I had wanted to become a politician.

“Father, I want to become like Rajiv Gandhi. Can I? I had asked.” Then I was thirteen years old.

“Son, I think you should really get into politics. You can speak Hindi, are photogenic and are also a good liar.” My father had replied.

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“But I don`t know. I am not sure if I really what to become a politician.” I retorted.

“Son, don`t you worry. You will fit right in. Just dump those jeans and get a pair of kurtas. Two to start with…you don`t want to invest and then realize that you can`t lie before the camera.”

“But father, how is it for a profession? Would I be respected in the society?” An ignorant me asked.

“It is the World`s second oldest profession. Very similar to the World`s first profession.” My father had winked when he completed the sentence. Then, I would not understand the import of his wink….but later I would come to know that World`s oldest profession was prostitution. Bingo! Everything fell into place.

I am glad I did not grow up to be a politician. Perhaps, I was scared of losing my life. My fears stand vindicated, because according to a reliable source… from Financial Year 2005, labs workings on cosmetics are going to test their products on politicians and not animals.

Talking of cosmetics, now I know why there are so few women in politics….they have to put make-up on two faces. 😉

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at or message him at +919650080255.

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