Men and Women

What if there were no clothes to wear in this World

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Thanks to my wife, today I started imagining about a world without any clothes. Wipe that smirk off your face please, for it is not what you are thinking.

It all started with my wife Rekha wanting me to upgrade my wardrobe. Believe me, survival can be difficult if your wife believes in keeping wardrobes clean and organized. Especially, if after you have spent close to four hours setting it up according to your wife`s wishes and she suddenly says: “Honey, why don`t you upgrade your wardrobe?”

In moments like this, man starts hating clothes, and dreams about a world with no clothes tow ear. Can you imagine a world without shirts, trousers, tshirts? I can imagine a World without skirts and sarees but I draw the line at a world without clothes for men!

If only Adam & Eve hadn`t touched the apple, we all would today be roaming about naked – without clothes. But the two did a huge favor for the textile industry, which would not have existed but for the demand for clothes. Without the textile industry, where would all the fashion designers go? What about all those dumb models who showcase the latest in clothes? Without the fashion industry churning out clothes for the World, where would all the gays go?

Without clothes, fashion designers, and models the best buddy of all married men – Fashion TV – will remain a dream. No print or TV advertisements for brands like Allen Solly, Basics, Dockers etc.

If there were no clothes to wear in this World, it will be a blessing in disguise for the men. You, naughty! I meant the shopping. Imagine the number of hours our girlfriends/wives will cut off from their shopping time if clothes were not on the list? There would be no trial rooms in shops, unless you want to try out the new pressure cooker you are buying. In which case the trial rooms also need to have a gas stove, but we will talk about that later.

Needless to say, there will be no formal and informal dressing. Thus, no business suit and no Friday dressing and of course no marriage gowns. How would we identify the bride in the crowd? My guess is that only the bridegroom would know who the bride is. Pretty safe, isn’t it? But then without any clothes in the World, everybody will see what the bridegroom was to see during his first night.

Shorelines will get less exciting because there will be no nude beeches. With everybody roaming around naked, men will resort to eye-rape and thus we will be able to reduce rape incidents in the community. Jack the Rippers will get into cold storage. But if at all somebody goes overboard and indulges in the heinous crime, the police will be in a fix. They will find it difficult to differentiate between the rapist and the victim. Aren`t the victims always identified with their torn clothes?

Even if the police have to rush to the rape spot, where will they keep their pistol? No trouser to tuck it in. And with no trouser, there will be no pockets to keep wallets, mobiles and kerchiefs. They will have to strap them on or hang them from somewhere.

A world without clothes was a scary thought. Rekha snapped me out of my thoughts with a louder question: “What were you thinking about?”

“What if there were no clothes to wear in this World.”

“A World without clothes, you mean? Thats scary!” For the first time after our marriage my wife had agreed with me.

I let out a happy, “Yeah” and re-arranged my clothes.

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By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at or message him at +919650080255.

5 replies on “What if there were no clothes to wear in this World”

Hey… just because the models don’t talk while walking the ramp, doesn’t mean they are dumb. Not all of us can land jobs where we can yammer on all day long.
If you mean the other kind of dumb that is just plain mean!

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