When I get drunk

Even as I type this, I am getting drunk. So don`t expect any coherence in this post. I know after some time my hands will start shaking…perhaps that is why I want to write about old people. Why? Simple. Don`t their hands also shake?

I am drinking Vodka. Romanov vodka. It is one brand you will get only in Tamil Nadu. No Smirnoff for me. No Absolut for me. Perhaps because they are costly. Perhaps because Romanov Vodka is what you can get easily. I cannot boast that I grew up drinking Romanov, but it does give quite a kick.

Don`t ask me how I got Rekha`s permission to drink. I sent her flowers worth Rs 300 and it made her happy enough to say “Yes” to my question in the message I sent along with the flowers: “Can I please drink tonight?”

Just because the name “Romanov” ends with a “V” we cannot assume that it is a Russian brand. I agree most Russian names either end in “V” or “Y”. Take Tolstoy, Chekov, Gorbachev etc. Neither can we assume that it is a Roman brand because Romans never drank Vodka. They drank wine before dining and whining.

Enough of Romanov, let us get back to the elderly. That`s what I wanted to write about before I started floating about.

I had this paternal grandma of mine who was scared of my mother. Then it seemed odd…but now that I am married I understand why she was scared. This grandma was so scared that she would touch nothing in my house. And one day we all left her alone and went to the temple (No, we are not the Adams` family…we do go to temples). The phone rang….but my grandma was scared to touch it…so without touching it…she said: “OK OK…we know you are calling. Nobody is at home…they have all gone to the temple. How about calling later?”

I guess it is enough of the elderly. Am already floating. Is it the Vodka? Or the fact that Rekha is expected anytime?

Talking of Rekha…I have decided to become a Mangal Pandey. Enough is enough and it is time for The Rising. And anyways Independence Day is round the corner. I have decided to revolt against her reign in my house. Just in case you did not know…she has accepted an offer from Cognizant Technology Solutions and has put down her papers at Sify. Ever since, her atrocities have increased. I am rebelling and am going to push harder. BTW…did you know that Push = Pray Until Something Happens.

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at or message him at +919650080255.

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