Where the hell is computerization?

They say today`s life is computerized. Everything has been influenced by computers. I say “definitely no!”

For example, today morning I could not find my new pair of socks. If our lives were really influenced by computers…shouldn`t I be capable of pressing Control+F and find my new pair of socks? Or for that matter… my newspaper?

You probably wonder why I don`t find my newspaper on my porch….it happens when my neighbor`s dog is hungry, and eats up his newspaper. The benevolent guy that my neighbor is…he steals my newspaper and leaves the shreds of his newspaper on my door mat.

Getting back to computers, umpteen times I would say something to my boss and immediately realize that in life there in no going back. That is to say, there is no Control+Z.

How much I wish there were a Control+Z in real life. So many husband-wife issues could be sorted out. I know a guy who when at a restaurant with his wife, instead of saying: “honey, can you please pass the salt” said “You bitch over there, pass me the f#%@ing salt or I will smash your head into two and pour the whole bottle inside.” It was a small mistake.

I wouldn`t blame the guy, but the moment the words left his mouth he started repenting. Now she is rich (thanks to the alimony) and he is poor. If only there were a Control+Z in life.

A few of my friends make fun of me saying my kid might be born with a keyboard in hand. Keyboard or not…I am sure will come with a cable. He will be my Cable Guy. But seriously speaking…imagine being able to underline what we say by pressing Control+U.

If you found a pretty girl sitting next to you in office, you can just do a Control+C and then a Control+V to all your pick-up lines and see if this pretty girl falls for the lines that your wife fell for. It would save you from using the same lines again and again…especially since you would have been using it since your late teens. A little like the old History professor using the same old notebook to teach since 1967.

If our real lives were really as computerized, we would have just pressed F5 and refreshed ourselves in the evenings and rushed to parties. And when it was time for office, leave the discotheques….press F5, refresh yourself and be in office.

But alas, that is not to be. And we are forced to make choices. Discothèques? Or office? If only a Control+A worked here! BTW, Control+A selects all.

You are probably wondering why you reading this crappy Blog. Easy…try pressing Alt+F4.

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at jv.rajan@gmail.com or message him at +919650080255.

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