My wife is a murderer

I am a dreamer. I dream big. That`s why when I dreamt of a house, it was always the Buckingham palace. When I dreamt of a bridge, it was the Brooklyn bridge. When I dreamt of an actress, it was always…you guessed it right…Tun Tun.

The problem is I can dream only if I am happy while going to bed. Perhaps that`s why Rekha and I had decided to switch off the lights before getting into bed. The trick worked fine for a week or so…but soon enough it was Powrnami (not a girl…the full moon phase) and we could see each other even after switching off the light. My ability to dream plummeted.

My nights would have gone dream-less had it not been for this accidental discovery that if I had a conversation in bed, I dreamt big. They say accidental discoveries can also be called ‘serendipity`. As always here is a doubt…let us assume I were driving my newly acquired Suzuki Swift on a highway and discovered an accident, would that be called ‘serendipity`? Confusing.

By the way, did you hear about the joke on a bed? It is not made yet!

Getting back to the bed, what better conversation than the exchange of jokes? Who can tell me a joke at 10.30 p.m.? I can`t be listening to jokes from a stranger…so can`t dial a wrong number.

My father had once asked me not to speak to strangers. In fact, I stopped talking to my father when one fine day he pulled me to one side and said: “Don`t you ever talk to strangers. They could kidnap you, salt you, skin you and hang you as the skeleton in a biology lab.” He was always graphic.

Yes, Rekha is an option. But she can murder a joke and for somebody who couldn`t sleep for a week after watching the horror movie The Ring…a murder at 10.30 p.m. can be scary.

Now I know why my father responded as he did when I told him I had found a girl just like mommy. It was three yeas back, and I was in my parent`s home all set to reveal the secret. Daddy being the strict one, I addressed him. “Dad, I have found a girl just like mommy.”

Without batting an eyelid he replied: “What do you expect from me? Sympathy?”

Today, having married a lady who can murder jokes…I am a sleepless man. I could try out a rehab but isn`t that for quitters?

Moral of the Story: If you marry a lady with some sense of humor you will be a happy man for the rest of your life. If you don`t succeed at first, try again. Marry again.

*Ouchmytoe is testimony to Rekha`s awesome sense of humor

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at or message him at +919650080255.

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