SPAM = Somebody’s Patience Almost Murdered

I wish I could give you my Gmail account’s username & password, ask you to login and check my SPAM folder.

Some say that Sergey Brin wanted this folder in Gmail to be named “MAPS” but when he called up Larry Page and asked him to take it down, lest it is forgotten…Larry the Lazy wrote it on his chest with a marker. The next day, he had to excuse himself from the meeting, and visit the men’s loo to find out the folder name as suggested by his partner. Thus was born, “SPAM”.

For the reader who would like to know the truth…SPAM (whatever that mean?!) was first born in 1978, when an e-mail spam was sent to 600 addresses. The next large scale SPAM happened in 1994, when a single mail was sent to 6000 newsgroups, reaching millions of people. Today, 90 billion SPAM mails are sent across to people like you and me, per day. While we are on the subject…can you guess who gets the maximum number of SPAM each year? Yes, you got it right…it is Bill Gates!

Next to Bill Gates, I get the maximum amount of SPAM. For example, yesterday Sherri Powell mailed me saying she could help me renew my self esteem. And Greta Sallie offered to improve my confidence in bed.

Agreed, I need a bit of self esteem but why do I need confidence in bed? It is not as if I am going to discuss a business deal in bed?

Have given below some interesting subject lines of the mails I found in my SPAM folder. You can find my comments in italics –

Gonzalo Marin’s mail: Buy Rolex watches at cheapest prices
(I wouldn’t really need it now. The Rolex I bought from your cousin Geraldine Marin is still working fine)

Edwina Ricks’ mail: Expand, lengthen & Enlarge
(I agree Ouchmytoe is in the exaggeration business. We can expand our imagination and lengthen the articles that appear here…but what do we enlarge?)

Sandra Witt’s mail: Be large, be in charge
(Can’t help it now Sandra…I am not growing beyond 165 cms)

Owen Brunett’s mail: 80% of the women are unsatisfied
(Tell me about it. My wife is especially pissed off with my lack of baby handling skills)

Susanne Richardson’s mail: You can have 40% of my 100 million dollars
(I wish I could….but my wife would ask “hope you aren’t selling your body?”)

GMail Team’s mail: Gmail Account Alert (Verify your account details)
(Duffer…if I am already inside my Gmail, why do I need to verify the account details?)

Jeremy West’s mail: You can relax with Viagra
(What if I have a Viagra and my partner gets a sudden headache? Where do I go and bang my head?)

I know this post isn’t great…but then, this week wasn’t great either and you DIDN’T complain!

Other funny blog posts you should read

# When I became a cockroach
# Kid Story: How Onion got its clothes
# Tips for South Indians to survive in North India
# Entering a new house can be funny
# When I was no longer ‘cute’ for the women

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