SPAM = Somebody’s Patience Almost Murdered

I wish I could give you my Gmail account`s username & password, ask you to login and check my SPAM folder.

Some say that Sergey Brin wanted this folder in Gmail to be named “MAPS” but when he called up Larry Page and asked him to take it down, lest it is forgotten…Larry the Lazy wrote it on his chest with a marker. The next day, he had to excuse himself from the meeting, and visit the men`s loo to find out the folder name as suggested by his partner. Thus was born, “SPAM”.

For the reader who would like to know the truth…SPAM (whatever that mean?!) was first born in 1978, when an e-mail spam was sent to 600 addresses. The next large scale SPAM happened in 1994, when a single mail was sent to 6000 newsgroups, reaching millions of people. Today, 90 billion SPAM mails are sent across to people like you and me, per day. While we are on the subject…can you guess who gets the maximum number of SPAM each year? Yes, you got it right…it is Bill Gates!

Next to Bill Gates, I get the maximum amount of SPAM. For example, yesterday Sherri Powell mailed me saying she could help me renew my self esteem. And Greta Sallie offered to improve my confidence in bed.

Agreed, I need a bit of self esteem but why do I need confidence in bed? It is not as if I am going to discuss a business deal in bed?

Have given below some interesting subject lines of the mails I found in my SPAM folder. You can find my comments in italics –

Gonzalo Marin`s mail: Buy Rolex watches at cheapest prices
(I wouldn`t really need it now. The Rolex I bought from your cousin Geraldine Marin is still working fine)

Edwina Ricks` mail: Expand, lengthen & Enlarge
(I agree Ouchmytoe is in the exaggeration business. We can expand our imagination and lengthen the articles that appear here…but what do we enlarge?)

Sandra Witt`s mail: Be large, be in charge
(Can`t help it now Sandra…I am not growing beyond 165 cms)

Owen Brunett`s mail: 80% of the women are unsatisfied
(Tell me about it. My wife is especially pissed off with my lack of baby handling skills)

Susanne Richardson`s mail: You can have 40% of my 100 million dollars
(I wish I could….but my wife would ask “hope you aren`t selling your body?”)

GMail Team`s mail: Gmail Account Alert (Verify your account details)
(Duffer…if I am already inside my Gmail, why do I need to verify the account details?)

Jeremy West`s mail: You can relax with Viagra
(What if I have a Viagra and my partner gets a sudden headache? Where do I go and bang my head?)

I know this post isn`t great…but then, this week wasn`t great either and you DIDN`T complain!

Other funny blog posts you should read

# When I became a cockroach
# Kid Story: How Onion got its clothes
# Tips for South Indians to survive in North India
# Entering a new house can be funny
# When I was no longer ‘cute` for the women

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at or message him at +919650080255.

18 replies on “SPAM = Somebody’s Patience Almost Murdered”

Heheh! Too good! You seem to have time to go through the spam folder too….thats something 😛

I am checking my spam folder too waiting for a mail from you…saying I have won the latest contest…. 😀

Guess I have to wait longer….

Au contraire, this is better than some of your earlier posts.
I think this week has really been bad.Have a nice weekend and start a refreshing week ahead.

Lol. This was a good post. the punch as always was saved for the last.

(What if I have a Viagra and my partner gets a sudden headache? Where do I go and bang my head?) great one!!!

u r back with a bang…bulk deleting SPAM mails of course is a day-to-day job for most of us…good to see that u took time to think abt it and write it here in ‘ur’ way.
i find this post more humorous than a few previous ones….

Thanks for the laugh first thing in the morning, Jammy!! “Bang my head?” ROFL!!!

I get these too. Trouble is, the spammers haven’t decided if I need double Ds or help in the enlargement department :D.

GREAT post.

Keep posting dude.
For ppl like me who live at the other side of the globe, ur posts cheer us up.
Thanks a lot.

Good post jammy. Guess u have been working too hard mate. Have a relaxed weekend and a lil less hectic week ahead.

I am a very recent reader of your blog… and i must tell you that u r indeed a superb writer…just fallen in love with all the write ups.

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