Tell me….what comes to your mind when you say MBA? Masters of Business Administration? Monsters of Blah & Ass-licking? Mediocre But Arrogant? Or Married But Available?
If you haven`t yet got the hint, well……this post is about Abhijit Bhaduri. Like it happens with all famous men…if you don`t know Abhijit Bhaduri…let me explain….he is a leading HR Professional from India, who doubles up as a humor writer. The man in question once wrote a book titled Mediocre But Arrogant….which didn`t live up to its title…it wasn`t mediocre at all. After failing to ensure losses for his first publisher, he launched his second book Married But Available in the Indian Capital, today.
Being a humor writer of repute (hic! hic!) I was also invited to the launch. I am serious. If only there was a screenshot option in my mobile, I would have shown you the SMS he sent me.
Unfortunately, I couldn`t go.
Not feeling well…I was in my bed throughout the day. Staring onto a white wall with a rotating fan is like staring into a girl`s eyes. It makes you imagine things that don`t really exist the way you want them to exist.
I ended up imagining how the book launch would have proceeded.
You can buy MARRIED BUT AVAILABLE and get it delivered by mail (Order it from the Harper Collins site). You get a specially signed copy if you order by 30 September 2008. Buy Now
Still confused? Listen to him read out a chapter from his first book and then decide.
6.00 p.m.: Abhijit Bhaduri is prancing up and down the corridor waiting for the guests (read invitees like me….) to arrive.
6.15 p.m.: The first guests arrive. Most are his relatives, and friends who couldn`t refuse….or weren`t lucky enough to fall sick. A few of them are cursing him for launching a book on a weekend.
6.30 p.m.: Some fifty odd people have gathered. The publishers are now prancing up and down the corridor…they are waiting for the journalists to arrive, who like the police in Hindi movies, always arrive late.
6.45 p.m.: Abhijit Bhaduri has washed his face and donned a new coat of make up. Unlike me, he is a fair and handsome man alright….but who doesn`t need that extra coat of make up for that extra bit of glow on a big day? He checks his suit to see it is befitting the occasion – not all writers get published….fewer still get to make the second mistake.
7.00 p.m.: Everybody is in their seats – friends, relatives, readers, press-men, iron-walas…everybody. The publisher takes the podium and starts off on how he rejected Abhijit Bhaduri`s 18 manuscripts before he accepted the one that`s gone into print. After the publisher, the Editor of the book takes the podium for ten whole minutes and explains how Abhijit Bhaduri should have gone to a better school for better Grammar and how his punctuation leaves so much to be desired.
7.25 p.m.: After all the damage is done, Abhijit Bhaduri takes the stage. His time in Microsoft as the head of HR helps. He strikes a chord with the invitees right away. It helps that he is wearing a pink shirt with a violet trouser – after all he is a humor writer. He tries to contain the damage by saying that half of the 18 manuscripts rejected by the said publisher have been accepted by other publishers of repute. He also does some damage control on the “Grammar school” fiasco by saying he had a Grammar teacher who fell sick regularly.
7.45 p.m.: Abhijit Bhaduri finishes his speech and the whole crowd gets up in a standing ovulation. Ok, at least the ladies get up in standing ovulation.
7.50 p.m.: Abhijit Bhaduri invites the Chief Guest, who happens to be a humor blogger called Jammy and his girl friend called Tammy, to launch the book.
8.00 p.m.: Jammy starts off with ‘I know it is getting late and you all want to go home early….” and continues to talk about the good times (and some peanuts) he has had with Abhijit Bhaduri. How they are like a mobile phone and sim card, how they are like a CD and a CD Cover etc. Jammy has been talking for 35 minutes when Abhijit Bhaduri walks in with a bottle of water and wispers something into Jammy`s ears.
8.35 p.m.: Jammy launches the book, and the crowd erupts in jubilation. Don`t know why….but the reporters ignore Abhijit Bhaduri and surround Jammy. They ask him why he isn`t publishing a book…Jammy nods his head and walks into the sunset.
*Glad the launch happened in the evening, else walking into the sunset wouldn`t have been possible.
**If you are Abhijit Bhaduri and reading this…my apologies I couldn`t come there in person. Believe me, in spirit I was with you on your big day. The operational word being ‘Spirit`.