And then, one year flew by

This post is dedicated to an ardent reader Himani Sahni of Gurgaon who will be celebrating her birthday on January 31.

Last year, she had mailed me requesting a funny post as a birthday gift. I obliged. Today – one year later – she proved history and women to be similar by repeating her request. I have not added or subtracted anything from her mail, primarily because my math is bad. I haven`t even changed the spelling mistakes and wrong grammar.

– – – – X – – – –

Hi Jammy,

Hope you are doin gud…..

Its my Birthday tomorrow and I would again like to request you to write something really hilarous and interesting just for ME:-)…..I know I am being over demanding but wanna open my eyes with a big smile!!!!

What has a big smile got to do with the eyes? One can have a big smile and not open the eyes at all!

Not too sure about your work schedule…so if things are tough at your end and you are time stressed then pls feel free to reject the request
I would not mind:-)

I am really held up at work, but am writing this post because of the Rs 20/- you had attached to your mail

You really made my day last year, cant thank u enough for the same.

Is that why you left 45,982 comments in my blog the whole of last year?

God Bless u always!!

Thanks & Regards
Himani

– – – – X – – – –

On seeing the mail, I felt really good. How often do bloggers get mails from five years olds wanting to celebrate their birthday with a funny post? Not often.

Blame it on Rekha`s absence or plain excitement, I picked up my landline and dialed Himani`s number.

The caller tune was “Humpty, Dumpty sat on the cake, Humpty Dumpty didn`t get any to take” – a popular nursery rhyme they taught in DAV & Doon schools before Shiv Sena protested saying Hump and Dump were against our culture and needed to be banned.

Anyway, Himani picked up the phone. I was surprised, she didn`t sound like a five year old. I began to sweat profusely. I am not much of a lady`s man…and to top that I knew the tortoise and the butterfly joke I had practiced so well would fall flat. It worked well only for six years and below.

“Hi, this is Jammy here. You had mailed me.”

“Yeah, I had. So, when is the furniture coming?”

“Furniture?” I inquired. What was she talking about, I wondered.

“Aren`t you Tammy from Tammy & Tummy Furnitures?” She sounded concerned now.

“No. I am Jammy, your favorite blogger.”

“I am sorry, I go by urls. What`s yours?” She was demanding.

I couldn`t control my tears and lest she heard me choking over the phone, I cut the line.

– – – – –

Dear Himani,

My best wishes on your birthday. Even if this post ends up being your best birthday gift don`t worry. Even if the only thing you have gained this birthday is another year, don`t worry. For there was a birthday in my life when my father gifted me a BSA SLR, my mother gifted me an air pistol, my two sisters gave me two big Perk chocolates and I was looking forward to a evening birthday party at the house…but lost my way from school and couldn`t be found till the next day afternoon. I spent the night with two beggers.

On a serious note…research has shown that some people develop heartburn on their birthdays, primarily because of eating the birthday cake. If you really want to avoid the heartburn, I would suggest you remove the candles first.

I know this post is not as good as last year`s but neither are you growing any younger!

To read what I wrote on Himani’s 53rd birthday (which was last year), Click Here

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27 thoughts on “And then, one year flew by

  1. I donno whether Himani had a big smile with open eyes or not. But I had a loud laugh with half-closed eyes. >:O) The posts of this year & prev year are equally good. Keep up. Cheers!

  2. dude!!
    dont you have work to do?!! how do you manage to find time to blog in the morning(of all the things!!)….havnt u got fired yet? do people at ur workplace know u do this….whats ur productivity %(average)? are u employed by satyam to blog all day long so that employees of other companies(read satyam’s competitors) sit all day and read ur blogs nd thereby affect their company’s performance? did you take a bath bfore posting this blog today? did you call rekha today? why did appollo 13 fail? why did the US and A attack iraq? why did the chicken cross the road?

    enuf of questions…

    one last one…
    Q. what do you do when a toothless dog bites you?
    A. take a anti-rabies injection widout the needle!

    another last one
    Q. what is the height of bravery?
    A. a guy having the guts to fart when he has loose motion!!

  3. Hey! U managed it again……I greatly appreciate your kind gesture Jammy.

    This is the best–est gift that have ever received on my Birthday….best came last year;-)

    You are simply amazing…btw when should i expect the next call…hahahahahaha

    Btw when can i approch you for a quick english session?????

    Thanks a ton!!!!

    U made my day…as always!!!!!!!!!

  4. psg.. you enjoy reading it write… so let jammy struggle to write.. dont trouble him with these questions…BTW he is at Yahoo! Not in Satyam anymore…

    Jammy, There are hell a lot of people who would try to distract us.. dont get carried away…

  5. mr.nissan got fired frm satyam huh!!!!!
    not surprising considering how much time he spends blogging!!!!

    nd mr.nissan,
    uma seems to be an awfully strong supporter of urs..does rekha know about this!! what is going on here?

    nd uma,
    why you support doing for mr.nissan? does he pay you for this?!!
    err…i cud wid some money myself….i can support him too….i support all kinds of weird causes and people for money…i can do this too!!!!

  6. jam·my /ˈdʒæmi/ Pronunciation Key – Show Spelled Pronunciation[jam-ee] Pronunciation Key – Show IPA Pronunciation
    –adjective, -mi·er, -mi·est. British Informal.
    1. very lucky.
    2. pleasant; easy; desirable: He has a jammy job.

    No wonder.. when everyone support jammy.
    Go ahead jammy.

  7. Who supports Jammy.. Pls read my prev. replies..
    And haan… Rekha knows that I support him at the same time pull his leg as well

  8. psg

    get a life! u accuse jammy of blogging dont u have anything better to do in life than sit and comment on his blogs.For that matter do YOU have a blog… and even by chance if u do have a blog… how many read it? just u I guez… coz with ur kinda attitude I think you wont get very far.
    Comment on his article not on what he does…thtz none of ur business..and abt him not having any work to do..wht work do u do tht is SO GREAT?..

    Buddy get a life!!!

  9. # Ranjhith: Thanks man.

    @ The posts of this year & prev year are equally
    – Are you saying that my writing has not improved in the last one year?

  10. # 2 psg: I do have man but squeeze in some time to make people happy and earn a few dollars.
    I don’t blog in office and if I do…only after 7 p.m….check the time now…it is 07.08 😉

    Nice questions man…maybe you should ask them in yahoo! India Answers

  11. # 3 Himani: Most welcome…you challenged my ability to write and thats how I could…
    And don’t tell me this was the best gift you received on your birthday. I wont believe you….or is it your ploy to book a third post in advance? For next year maybe…?

    Regarding the English session, you know my contact details. I am just kidding yaar…i would probably make a very bad teacher coz I cant write on the board…i mean I can only start from the middle of the board coz of my height

  12. # 4 Arun: Hey…i really loved that line…stand up and deliver and I called Rekha the very same instant and told her abt your joke. We then laughed at you…

  13. # 6 Uma: Thanks Uma…I need strong supporters like you to take me thro’ road blocks..I mean writer’s block.

    Now…I am not calling you a block head!!

  14. # 8 psg: And who is Mr Nissan?

    Yep…I got fitred from Satyam. They put me in a human rocket launcher and fired me. even as they lit the fuse..I heard somebody say: ‘he belongs in the skies.”

    PSG…Uma has been reading this blog for a long time…I think from the time I broke the news of Gandhi’s death…and perhaps thats why she is a strong supporter.

    if you continue reading this blog for a few more weeks – which is quite a difficult task considering your slow reading skills – you will also become a strong supporter.

  15. # 11 disgusted psg: I dont understand this…are you and Uma carrying a fight inside the house? if yes, please let us know the context so that we all can take sides and support you guys. Being mere spectator is boring.

    And PSG…let us not talk of attitudes please…I am scared of heights. Is there somebody who didn’t get the joke?

  16. # 12 Aishwarya Rao: I am fine as long as the requests come from girls. You have my ‘I Do”…but who is this friend and what is her date of birth. Would be great if you could mail me some more details about her so that I don’t come up with a generic post but a personalized one.

  17. JV – nissan(was there a jam by that name when i wuz a kid?)
    gaaa…me thinks u got too many supporters out here….too many supporters who dont exactly get jokes!!
    hoo..now, tat shud get the blood flowing(nd not to uma’s cheeks) amongst ur supporters here..

    nd to all the commenters here….
    i DO NOT blog….i dont bcos the world needs critics…what wud u guys do if not for people like me(the critic kinda guys)…

    jesus….whts wid all the abuse people!!

    mr.disgusting(typo intended!!)
    i work as an account mgr at an IT company….the work aint nothing great….but pays well..nd gives me time to tick disgusting people off!!

    to answer JV’s question, i dono why uma is ticked off at me…mebe we shud ask her…always thot of havin a fite wid ze ladies(in jello/chocolate…take ur pick!!) nd dude..tat bit bout my “slow reading skills” was a below-the-belt kick!!

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