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Different strokes for different folks

Thanks to Flash’s comment left here, I have realized that for the last 30 years of my life I have been referring to Storks as Strokes! What shame…on my teachers. Needless to say, you will have to keep this spelling mistake in mind while reading the post below.

I have always believed that God is losing his charm. No, I am not Satan but I definitely feel that God is losing his hold over today`s people. I stopped believing in him a few days after I got married to Rekha. It was shocking to know that God didn`t send the kids.

I am lucky, I came to know about God not supplying the kids in 2004 itself but I have a few nephews and nieces who don`t know that God is not the supplier of kids…and it is already 2007.

The other day one of my nieces asked (unfortunately, I can`t reproduce the six year old girl`s tone here): “Rajan, how did Shanti aunty get a baby boy?”

I stared at the girl. Sometimes staring helps. Most of the times, it doesn`t. I had to say something to stop her from staring back at me.

“Strokes visited Shanti auntie`s house last month and dropped a baby boy.” I was sure she would buy into the story.

“Strokes?”

“Yes, strokes. Strokes.” I repeated for emphasis.

“You mean the bird stroke?”

“Yes.”

“Surprising. Because only last week I saw a Discovery channel documentary on Strokes, and they didn`t mention a thing.”

“The US Government as part of its war against terrorism has asked Discovery Channel to keep it under wraps.” I tried to talk like Condellaza Rice, but it didn`t help.

“But, I thought one had to be married to have a baby. How do the strokes know that a lady is married or not?”

“Before dropping the baby, the strokes look around for a man-woman pair shopping.” I wanted to end this at the earliest.

“A boy and girl who are just lovers could also be shopping together. How come the strokes don`t mistake them to be married and drop babies. Wouldn`t it be embarrassing if Santosh uncle and the lady he meets in the temple come home with a baby one day?”

“Strokes don`t make such mistakes. They are intelligent.” This had become like the chess game where both players have only their King and Queen and thus can`t win, but want to continue playing.

“How?” The kid asked me.

If kids that ask questions grow up to be intelligent, I am sure our President Dr Abdul Kalam would have asked many questions when young. But then, I am also sure that he wouldn`t have been a popular kid among his relatives.

“Strokes hover above the shop for a while, and if the man drops out of the shot for a smoke or a tea or a 2-ruppee packet of groundnuts…it is a sure sign that the couple is married. If the man and the woman come out laughing from the shop, the strokes don`t drop the baby.”

I thought I had ended the conversation but apparently I hadn`t…for my niece immediately asked: “I always thought God existed.”

I didn`t want to start another war…so just muttered “Jesus” and moved on.

Other Must Reads

# When the stomach is full
# On why I am against helmets
# My wife is a murderer
# A visit to Fab India, Chennai
# Oxymoronic life that we live in…

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