My flight back to Gurgaon, alone

The Gods have been good to me so far. Today, I made a discovery which I think being a God fearing gentleman, I should share with the rest of the men folk. Tip of the year: While traveling, ask for a first row, aisle seat.

Of course, ladies with not so straight tendencies can also use this tip.

During my flight from Chennai to Delhi, I was allotted seat number β€˜1D`. For those of you who don`t know where 1D falls…here, take a look at this graphic below –

*AH= Air Hostess

Now that you know where exactly I was sitting in Air Deccan`s Chennai to Delhi flight number 639, please continue reading.

Thanks to the flirt-friendly seating, I got a chance to observe two air hostesses from close proximity – as close as 3 feet. So much so, when one of the air hostesses was telling me about the emergency exists, and life jackets and all that lovey-dovey stuff…I could smell her perfume. I remember watching a movie in which Dharmendra buys all the tickets in a theatre and views Hema Malini`s performance sitting all alone….for a moment, I thought I had bought all the tickets in the airplane and she was reeling out the instructions for me.

As a mere mortal, you can`t even imagine how lucky I would have felt staring at two pretty girls from that close a distance for 150 minutes. Wondering why I say 150 minutes and not two and half hours…hmm…let me give you a hint – I am 165 cms tall!

Let me describe the two girls for you – Poornima and Kavita, who were in Air Deccan`s flight number 639 from Chennai to Delhi. If you know them, please let them know that my heart beats for them. If you don`t know them, but know some air hostesses…please forward this link to them…so that someday (and that`s before they get old), the link reaches them and they mail me at jv [.] rajan [@] gmail [.] com.

Now, my only concern is…what do I do if both of them propose to me at the same time? To tell you the truth, I love them both.

When the plane was taking off and the girls were belted to their seats and couldn`t move…I didn`t even look at them. I could I have just unbuckled my seat belt and kissed them both! But by not staring at them, I gave them a chance to stare at me.

When Kavita handed me the complimentary Kingfisher Mineral water, I even said “Thank You, Kavita.”

When Poornima handed me a bag of peanuts and said, “Sir, this can be yours for just Rs 10,” I gave her Rs 500 and said: “Why don`t you buy some bangles for those nice, delicate wrists of yours?”

She didn`t reply…but she didn`t return Rs 490 as well. Wonder what kind of bangles she would buy.

Thanks to my seating and the view blocker which allowed for a sneak preview…I could even see the air hostesses change clothes – what if they were just removing their jacket and wearing the apron? A change is a change…not to mention, welcome.

Now, let me reveal a secret…when the girls changed into their apron they left their jackets near the food storage area (just behind the opaque view blocker) and I managed to smuggle my visiting card into their jacket pockets.

Now, the question is…who will get ME first! People, wish the girls luck!

Note: I can`t read his name properly but it says Brinder Singh, First Officer, Air Deccan…and I think he is flirting with my girls. Why isn`t he flying the plane? Is it on auto pilot? I am so angry with him, that if ever I can…I will ask him to pilot an Auto…for that would also be called β€˜Auto Pilot`!

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40 thoughts on “My flight back to Gurgaon, alone

  1. I had the same luck with Sri Lankan Airlines recently,but instead of my business card,i have left your e-mail id in their jackets. So you know whom to thank when you get mails from these Sri Lankan beauties. BTW, I thought you bought something for Rhea with the Rs.500.

    1. Sri Lankan beauties? That would be awesome…so when did u actually leave my e-mail…just wondering if the mails are being held up due to the Ram Sethu issue.

      Ohh yeah…I completely forgot abt our talk…but it still remains that what was due wasn’t sent!

  2. Ha,ha….pilot an auto indeed…jammy..I thght u looked only at air’hostess’ name tags…how did u know Brinder’s name? πŸ˜€
    Btw,u a rich man..bough peanuts with Rs.500!When I flew Air Deccan for the first time,was suprised to see them asking money for refreshments and was even more suprised to see the man next to me buy cashews for Rs.70/…but,u paid 500 for peanuts,even better! [was suprised because I flew down to hyd frm the us,before flying Air Deccan from hyd, and they kept serving us food(in the 14 hr flight) without asking for money!so thght it was kinda of cheap asking money for food in a flight!]

    1. ohh yeah…they do look cheap selling stuff for Rs 30 and all…but I think with Kingfisher now entering into a deal with Air Deccan, things are gonna change for the good.

      Regarding, your US flight…you sure are as promotional as I am πŸ˜‰

  3. I like the graphic. It nicely sets up the premise of the story.

    Brinder doesn’t sound like a real name tho. It is probably Brijender or just Inder.

    1. Raj…you are very right…I couldn’t get that guy’s name right. I did try though.

      BTW…this guy got two calls from inside the cockpit when he was flirting with the girls…and I heard him say: “What’s the big deal…why is the old man in a hurry!”

  4. Jammy, that was awesome! The diagram was awesome too, reminded me of my biology classes.

    For a minute I thought, why the hell would you label the yellow, protruding, arrow-head part as “cock pit” ? !! ?

    Were you asleep when the girls pulled those food trolleys through? I bet that would’ve been the most interesting part.

    πŸ˜€ Giggling all the way at my cubicle..
    Mani

    1. Yeah Mani…I did all and more…but I think this isn’t the right platform to discuss all that. I have three reasons –

      1) My wife reads this blog
      2) My girl friends read this blog
      3) This blog seems to be a nice, decent place for the ladies…(so lets keep it that way)

  5. Did you not see them bend to pull out the trolleys from the galley. It sure is a nice butt view as they engage in pulling out the trolleys. The skirt tightens and the panty lines become visible as they bend …….sometime you can’t see the panty lines…………..

  6. Jammy.. visited your blog after a long time.. like a mega serial, your creativity has not gone beyond air hostesses for eons now… you are capable of something much better than these sleezy posts.. rekha akka… please draw a rekha around your hubby’s literart exploits. it is getting very one tracked…

    1. Arun…did think of that when i wrote the post…but the air hostess were too good to be ignored. But I promise you this will be my last blog post on them for the next two months. As they say in North India, “Maa Kasam”

  7. If both of them propose to you at the same time, I’d suggest marry them both! Boisterous post. Enjoyed it.

    Why did Kavita hand over the complimentary Kingfisher Mineral water when she’s flying Air Deccan?

  8. Celiine, if I marry them both don’t i need three houses? Think of the rents in Gurgaon? Noway! Give me a better option any day.

    And the lady gave me complimentary Kingfisher Mineral water because Air Deccan and KF have a tie-up of sorts

  9. AH= airhostess*

    lol, recently i boarded spicejet and they gave some feedback forms to fill, i wrote in remarks “there is nothing spicy in your jet, get some more AH, AH = airhostess, and not jerk assholes stewards”

  10. Reminded me of something. Last time I tool the Air Deccan flight, they didn’t give me(and I forgot too) my balance 10 rs !! All I bought was a combo meal, for 100 bucks and that too, I didnt get the time to have it. :0

  11. Yeah Man, I remember both of them… πŸ™‚
    And yeah, you wont believe it, Brinder Singh intro-ed them to me… and you can mighty well guess where were those beauties seen next πŸ˜€ πŸ˜›

  12. Hi! Jamshed,

    I have to say you did get the name right. It’s brinder Singh. Small world (;o)

    I am flattered that you want me to pilot an auto… But no thanks don’t want your job…. Happy with mine.

    Just to set any doubts you have to rest; I was completely flirting with Kavita and poornima

    & I don’t mean to hurt your ego or embrass you in-front of your friends / fellow bloggers but purnima’s wrists are far from delicate

    One more thing, since you’re using real names for you fantasies I’ll set the record straight here… There is no way in the world Purnima would have kept your money,,, I’ve know her for quite a while and she’s not that kind of person….

    But hey nice blog…. And the diagram’s not bad either …..

    Cheers
    Brinder Singh
    First Officer
    Air Deccan

    P.S. The wonders of google (;o)

  13. Hey, it is nice to see Brinder commenting. But google and orkut are so full of fake people, i can create an ID – ms.dhoni@gmail.com and tell all girls that I had a good nite with them on that fateful night when india lost to bangladesh πŸ˜‰

  14. Hi..

    Brinder forwarded this link to me…

    Frankly speaking I don’t remember you. We meet loads like you by the minute..

    But you seem to be a funny guy!

    ~Kav

  15. Now look, Jammy.. even Kavita has come [LOL, ROLF], it just makes me wonder by the way, if she is a fake one too…

    Well, Brinder any comments on here credentials? πŸ™‚

  16. Now look, Jammy.. even Kavita is on your blog [LOL, ROLF], it just makes me wonder by the way, if she is a fake one too…

    Well, Brinder any comments on her credentials? πŸ™‚

  17. Haha…nice post…good to see brinder and kav on this as well. if only more women like her had a sense of humour, we’d ALL be a little less frustrated. The really desperate and obnoxious men f*** it up for the rest of us, and any attempt to chat up (forget flirting)these lovely ladies is considered perverse and obscene.

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