On why I had to leave Silicon Valley

If you aren`t a smart person, you probably think Silicon Valley is Pamela Anderson`s cleavage. No! Just because Pamela Anderson has gone for silicon implants…one can`t take it literally.

Silicon Valley is the southern part of San Francisco Bay Area, Northern California, USA and a region where high-tech companies (and mostly internet-based) come up every day. Way back in 2000 A.D., when I was all of 25 years old I used to have a small company in the Silicon Valley.

This story is about how I lost that company to a sweet talker, and returned home a pauper.

I think it was sometime in April, 2000. I had been in the US for two years and was getting bored. Most of my time was spent in front of the computers thinking of ideas to take over the World. That`s when I decided to chill out….you know…visit a pub or something…pick up women…and bring them home. The plan was simple…turn into a heat-seeking-missile, spot the women, lure them into the trap, and get them home.

Google was then a new search engine on the block…and everybody was raving about it. So I decided to search in Google and find a good bar / pub that I could visit. The first result was a nice place called “Silicon Valley Bar Association.” I took down a second place as well…what if “Silicon Valley Bar Association” was crowded? Behind the back of a paper napkin, I wrote down “Silicon Valley Bar Association” & “Fahrenheit Ultra Lounge“. We Silicon Valley people thought that if it wasn`t behind a paper napkin, it wasn`t important.

Unfortunately, “Silicon Valley Bar Association” was a place for attorneys…and indulged in courts & cases. They had nothing to do with chilling out….so I had to walk all the way back towards “Fahrenheit Ultra Lounge.”

The problem with “Fahrenheit Ultra Lounge” was that…there was a lot of space between me and the others. When you are a heat-seeking-missile, there is a range that you can operate in and beyond that range your signals fall week. Anyway, we Rajans are not known to back off ever – least so in a place throbbing with beautiful women – young, old, married, unmarried…all kinds.

The closest to me was a lady in black…I could see her back. The light shone on her smooth, curved back and I knew that very instant that I had to take this lady home. If possible, also make her my wife.

With the usual gusto that we Rajans are famous for, I stood up, checked my hair to ensure it was in place and walked towards her.

“Hi, looks like somebody needs a little company,” I quipped.

She was as smooth & curved from the front as she was from the back.

“Why? Do you have a company you want to sell?” She sounded so much in control. I made a mental note that this is the kind of women I like.

Somehow, the discussion veered towards my company…and ten minutes after her husband joined her….I had sold my company for a lot less than what it was worth. I did try to bring in ‘time-shares with the wife` as part of the deal…but that didn`t work out either.

Today, I am back in India…and working for somebody else.

Moral of the Story: Men, stay away from the women. They are way too smart.

Other Funny Reads

# A phone conversation with my girlfriend
# Am I turning into a woman?
# How do I get six packs in three months?
# How and when Jammy gets insulted
# Getting locked inside somebody`s washroom
# Now Rekha and I fight for different reasons

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17 thoughts on “On why I had to leave Silicon Valley

  1. Jammy,
    This had come in Valleywag or in one of those valley gossip blogs.
    How did you miss the call you got from this lady after the deal?
    This is censored Jammy! Not expected of you.
    Will post the valleywag link soon for other to read 😉

    -Nikhil

  2. Jams …. Rehka not in town……. these crazy hallucinations……… and psychotic behaviour……ah,these are completely natural and are called ‘withdrawal symptoms

  3. Hi Jammy,
    Thanks for letting me know about another Silicon Valley, apart from Pamela Anderson’s cleavage.
    I did try to bring in ‘time-shares with the wife’ as part of the deal… – LOL
    Cheers,

  4. oh.. i had the same experience.. I sold my company to some steve..steven something.. seemed like he wanted a job, kept saying i m Jobs , i m Jobs!
    whtever!

  5. Aha. So a man is, in fact, known by the company he loses. Always knew there was something wrong about the adage 😐

    Just discovered the blog…I’d be careful about saying ‘I’m hooked’ or ‘I’ll come back for more’ – esp. on this one 😉 – but yes, I do see myself checking on and off 🙂

    -g

  6. I came to this post via the “what if” series…
    The idea is really great.
    Jammy , what if you were the “SlumDog Millionaire” ?
    or what if bhojpuri was the international language insted of English?
    Your imaginative power is simply great and may be you could extend the “what if” series with these ideas. 🙂

  7. Jammy,

    Nice post… Am a 23 years guy and ohh yeah now i realize i’ve sold many of my companies to rahul’s, ahuja’s and sri’s (recent sell out)… anyways my hot missile continues and it’ll keep continuing either i hit the bullz eye or my parents hit someone else at my eye;-)

    Life is either funny or serious.. a lot depends on the way how u take at it…

    Cheers
    Saran

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