Chance pe Dance

I have been dancing since I was just 3 years old. I started off dancing to the tune of my mother, and by 10 when I got beyond her control…I my father took over and gave me the tune to dance to. Around 15, I was dancing to the tune of my physical education teacher at school…and by 20 was dancing to Kavita`s tune – yes, she was my first girl friend. Just that she didn`t know.

When 26, I started dancing to Rekha`s tunes, and one day when I was deeply engrossed …she tied the mangal sutra on my neck and made me her husband. Ever since our marriage, I have danced to her tunes. Now that I have a new girl friend, I have been dancing to her tunes. Believe me, dancing is tiring.

Recently, I was dancing to my girl friend`s tune when an old friend came up to me and asked: “Know why you can never be a good dancer?”

Perplexed, I said β€˜No.”

“You are an animal, that`s why you will never be a good dancer.” The old friend seemed tense. From the expression on his face, I could make out that even if I did dance well, he would come home and break my legs.

“You mean in the sense that all human beings are animals?” I enquired for more clarity.

“Yes, and all animals have two left feet.”

“That`s not true. Monkeys don`t.” I protested.

“Dogs do. Cats do. Horses do. Want more?” My old friend was enjoying the domination.

“What about centipedes? They have 100 left feets?” I was not trying to make fun of him…I just wanted to understand the concept well.

My friend got angry and left the place. But he had taught me a lesson. Perhaps, that`s why we human beings dance only when we have to.

Take this young lad for example, who spent half an hour looking at the jam bottle on the table and then started to twist dance. Apparently, on top of the jam bottle was written β€˜twist to open`. Don`t believe me? Check out this video.

The problem with dancers is that they always want to be in the front, seen by the audience and applauded.

One of my gay friends, who was into ballet once called me up at 6.30 a.m.. “Jammy, I had a nightmare last night!”

Knowing how excited he could get, I just said: “OK.”

“Wouldn`t you want to know what I saw in the nightmare?”

My friend wouldn`t give in so easily so I said, “Sure tell me about this nightmare that made you get up in the middle of the night at 6.30 a.m. and call me.”

“I was dancing with a group of ballerinas in Amitabh Bachan`s family show.”

“Wow. That`s pretty nightmarish. So what did you do?” I have this knack of saying what my friends want to hear.

“No stupid, that wasn`t the nightmare. I was in the fourth row…and that`s when I started sweating and got up from my sleep and sat down!” My friend was panting, so didn`t have the heart to say that in an Amitabh Bachan family show there are way too many stars.

While on the subject of dancing, here is a joke I picked up from the internet:

A man had just been laid off from work. He was standing on the railing of a high bridge getting ready to jump off, when he happened to look down and see a little man with no arms dancing all around on the river bank below.

He thought, “Life isn’t so bad after all,” and got off the railing.

He then walked down to the river bank to thank the little man for saving his life.

“Thank you,” he said. “I was going to jump off that bridge and kill myself, but when I saw you dancing even though you have no arms, I changed my mind.”

“Dancing? I’m not dancing!” the armless man replied bitterly … “My asshole itches, and I can’t scratch it!”

Other Funny Reads

# When I became a cockroach
# Traveling by Kingfisher Airlines
# When I was a famous jockey
# December 31, 2005 to January 1, 2006
# Ice Creams & their funny names

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at or message him at +919650080255.

7 replies on “Chance pe Dance”

Hehehe. No wonder they say dance like no one’s watching. After that joke, I’m not so sure I want to watch people with arms dance 😐

On another note, centipedes don’t have 100 left feet. They have 50 “two left feet”.


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