Jamshed V Rajan, Author at Ouchmytoe.com

Golden rule of marriage remains unbroken

This Friday Rekha read my blog after a long time and as expected wasn`t impressed with the way I had been projecting her to the World. After leaving damaging comments (which I have deleted now) she decided to call me at office. “I would like to discuss our marriage with you,” Rekha roared into the … Read more

Hair growth on your ears? Remove them!

by Jamshed V Rajan

For the last 8-9 years of my life, there has been one outstanding feature of my personality – my ears….to be more specific, the hair on my ears.

Legend is that when the local barber`s scissors ran over my father`s hair…the neighboring village knew that my father was having a haircut. His hair was so strong and resisted death so much. But he lacked one feature…he didn`t have hair on his ears.

I remember studying in school that sometimes a particular gene is left in one generation and re-appears in the next – a phenomenon called Atavism (More on Atavism). Maybe, I have my grandpa to blame for the black, bushy set of hair on my ears.

Anyway, when I was 24 and the growth had just begun I asked my mother what this was and being the shy lady that she is, she just said: “Son, this means you are becoming a man. Now, start behaving like one.”

For the next nine years…I fought the battle alone. Today, I paid Rs 10,000 to VLCC (Vandana Luthra’s Cuts and Curves – yes, this is what VLCC means!) and now we will fight the battle together.

Best cure for Swine Flu – Laughter

by Jamshed V Rajan

Swine Flu is like Susan Boyle. It hasn’t really done much, but anyone with an internet connection has heard of it. – Read somewhere on the internet [Not heard of Susan Boyle?]

I know this article on Swine Flu is late. By the time you read this, it might not even be fashionable to speak about Swine Flu…but what could I do…there weren`t enough Swine Flu jokes on internet that I could copy.

The last time a girl called me a PIG, I thanked her for calling me a Pretty Indian Guy. But now times have changed and the same retort doesn`t hold good. Girls have started calling me a SWINE.

Waking up early and related sub-plots

by Jamshed V Rajan

As you are all aware, my grand father was a farmer-shepherd. My father interned as a shepherd before finding out that it wasn`t his calling and moved to farming. Farming involved getting up early and sleep walking to the fields two kilometers away, with two well built bullocks pulling you along.

Twenty days into farming, my father decided sleep was not something he was going to compromise on. So, he ran away to join the Military.

It is only these days that the kids don`t leave the first rope (read parents) till they find the second rope (read well paying jobs)… back then, youngsters didn`t mind letting go of the first rope even before the second rope was visible.

They start loving young these days

by Jamshed V Rajan

Way back in 1963 when India was reeling under the pressures of the 1962 Indo-China war, and the scammed Defence Minister VK Krishna Menon was cooling his heels God knows where (perhaps in God own Country), a 16 year old village girl was falling in love. Selvi was in love with the shepherd who took … Read more

How to manipulate a man

by Jamshed V Rajan

If you are a married lady this article will be of great use to you. If you are a girl and grappling with a boy friend, this article can help you to handle your boy friend better. And if you are a guy, be warned…the lady of your life might be reading Ouchmytoe.com.

In this article we will look at how a woman can dominate her man and enslave him. If you are a woman and don`t have the time to read the whole article, here is the gist:

Taj Mahal – the untold story

by Jamshed V Rajan

Sucking up to your boss can take you places. But it can`t take your mom places too…so when my mother wanted to see the Taj Mahal, I had to plan the trip myself.

Ever since my father fell to Cancer in 2005, my mother has lived a lonely existence. She keeps visiting her three children but goes back to the nest that her husband built for her with his post-retirement funds. So, when she is with us and wants anything done…no questions asked…it gets done.

“Son, I would like to visit Agra,” It was my mom talking.

“Why?” I enquired.

“Haven`t you heard of Taj Mahal? It is in Agra.” It was my mom talking, again.

Finding a play school for Rhea in Gurgaon

by Jamshed V Rajan

Our daughter is just two years and three months but keeping in with the family tradition we have decided to push her into hell when she least expects it. After all, why shouldn`t we revenge what was done to us?

Rekha`s initial list has ten play schools – play schools that made it to the quarter finals. After speaking to a few parents, reading up the internet on playschools in Gurgaon…she finalized the three semifinalists – Modern Montessori International Gurgaon, iDiscoveri Gurgaon and Kara For Kids. You probably wonder how can there be three semi-finalists? Well…in my house my wife decides…so park your thoughts please.

The first school we visited was Modern Montessori International at Sector 40 in Gurgaon. Just as we entered the gates, I heard the security guard say, “Hi….baby. What is your name?”