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A phone conversation with my girlfriend

Here is a phone conversation I had recently with my girl friend. No, it wasn`t with Rekha, my wife.

My girlfriend: Hi!
Me: Hey!

My girlfriend: I see a bit of sarcasm in your tone.
Me: Sarcasm? Why would I be sarcastic?

My girlfriend: How would I know? Ask yourself.
Me: But pray tell me, how can a “Hey” be sarcastic?

My girlfriend: You wouldn`t understand. Forget it.
Me: Aree…if you didn`t want me to think about it, why even mention it? Answer my question – how can a “Hi” be sarcastic?

My girlfriend: I donno. I no longer feel the same warmth in your tone.
Me: Is it because of the cold I have?

My girlfriend: See, you are being sarcastic again.
Me: Yes, this time….I agree.

My girlfriend: If you can agree now…why didn`t you agree earlier?
Me: I am not being sarcastic baby. Tell me what makes you think something is wrong.

My girlfriend: I don`t know. My heart says so.
Me: Your heart? I didn`t know hearts could speak!

My girlfriend: See…you are being sarcastic again!
Me: Yes, this time also….I agree.

My girlfriend: I feel things aren`t the same with us anymore.
Me: What makes you feel so?

My girlfriend: Your tone.
Me: Do you think gargling would help? It is this darn cold.

My girlfriend: I can see the sarcasm flowing again.
Me: Yes, this time also….I agree.

My girlfriend: You never used to raise your voice with me.
Me: But baby, we have known each other for two years now. Even married couples start fighting in two years!

My girlfriend: Don`t. Don`t raise your voice.
Me: No I didn`t! I didn`t raise my voice at all!

My girlfriend: Now you are. Why are you shouting?
Me: If you get unreasonable, what do I do?

My girlfriend: See….I told you…you aren`t the same anymore.
Me: Ohh God. What makes you think so?

My girlfriend: Don`t raise your voice, I said.
Me: No sweetheart. I am not raising my voice.

My girlfriend: You don`t have to say that so loudly. I am NOT deaf.
Me: I know you are not deaf of ears….

My girlfriend: See…sarcasm again.
Me: Ohh my God. Tell me what I have to do to make you happy!

My girlfriend: Just be yourself.
Me: Baby, I am being myself.

My girlfriend: No, this isn`t the man I loved.
Me: I am just myself. How can a man who lives for 100 years change drastically in 2 years?

My girlfriend: You never used to argue with me earlier.
Me: I am not arguing!

My girlfriend: Don`t shout!
Me: I am not shouting!

My girlfriend: I think you want to dump me.
Me: No I don`t. Why would I? This started as a casual conversation and here we are talking of dumping?

My girlfriend: Yes. That`s what you want to do…and I can feel that.
Me: What makes you feel that?

My girlfriend: I donno….I just know.
Me: How can you know ….when you donno…

My girlfriend: I donno…
Me: Ok fine. So what should we do? You suggest.

My girlfriend: Take a one-week break, maybe?
Me: I am fine with the idea, if that`s what you want.

My girlfriend: I don`t want that. I am just doing it for you.
Me: What??!!

My girlfriend: Yes. Let us take a break, if that`s what you want.
Me: Ok fine.

My girlfriend: Now you being sarcastic…
Me: How can “Ok fine” be sarcastic?

My girlfriend: I donno…
Me: I donno too sweetheart. But bye.

My girlfriend: Bye.
Me: Yes, take care. Call me if you feel like calling me.

My girlfriend: See…you are being sarcastic about my feelings now.
Me: Yes, I was.

*Thank God my phone`s charge went off. Else, you would have been forced to read two more pages of mindless conversation.

**Men out there, beware of women. They are complex. Worse than the Algebra that you dreaded in school.

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