On Sunday last we bought a pram for Rhea – our baby. Believe me, getting the right pram is a difficult task. You could be fooled too.
Rekha walked up to me on Saturday morning and said: “We need to buy pram.”
“I think, ‘p` is silent…for I have only heard it being pronounced as ‘ram`. And I agree, the desktop is slow…we need to buy more ram.” Even before I finished my statement, Rekha`s eye brows were knitted and she was staring at me.
Non-IT people would never understand but people like me who work with computers know how important ram is in day-to-day life. I did try to explain it to Rekha, but she asked me to ‘go multiply`. Those of you who don`t understand ‘go multiply` …well…it means F&^% Off.
At 11 a.m. on Sunday, we walked into Lifestyle in the DT Mall on MG Road, Gurgaon. The problem with the Lifestyle showroom is that I feel sad after I visit them. Why did God have to make Lifestyle if 90% of the items on display were to be beyond the reach of human beings?
When I say 90% of the items in Lifestyle were beyond my reach…I also include all the pretty girls exposing tattoos on their backs while picking up books. In a totally unrelated incident, I had dumped Rekha for almost 10 minutes – until I was caught looking at a healthy butterfly sitting on a white surface.
We then moved to the children section. Wonder if you have noticed but there are very few pretty girls wearing butterfly tattoos. The deeper one went into the children`s section the heavier the women became. By the time, we reached the pram…I was jostling with a Gujarati aunty, a Maharastrian behenji and a Punjabi uncle for elbow room.
From where we stood – Rekha and I could barely see the pram. After two hours of waiting, the attendant showed us the features. None of the features interested me much…and I would have decided against buying one had it not been for a feature called ‘Daddy`s Flap`.
“What is this daddy`s flap?” I enquired.
“Sir, have you ever taken your daughter in a pram lately?”
“No. Rhea is my first daughter…and this is going to be her first pram.” I pointed out.
“No wonder. Sir, let me explain…when you take your daughter out for a walk in the pram, you expose your marital status to all the pretty young things looking down from their balconies…don`t you?”
“You wouldn`t want that…or would you?” I did detect a naughty smile on the attendant`s face.
“I do not.”
“Good. In that case, I would suggest you buy this pram. Daddy`s flap is umbrella like contraption you pull over the baby`s head and then duck your head into.”
“Innovation!” Escaped my lips.
Sir, this pram will costs only Rs 7400/-.” Now, the attendant was being very patronizing. I wonder if he had a baby and if he owned such a pram.
I thanked the attendant, paid the bill and took the first step away from the billing counter. I hadn`t even finished the first step when I heard another attendant say: “Looks like Deepak has sold off another pram using the ‘daddy`s flap` story.”
I didn`t turn…I kept walking. Gurgaon is full of conmen. As for me, I am just a conwoman – I con women!