The “Quick Retort” Contest

Situation: Girl friend has cleaned up her main course at the family restaurant but the boy friend is yet to go beyond the chicken soup he had ordered.

“No wonder you are fat!”

Yes, that`s precisely what the boyfriend ends up saying, even though he wanted to say: “Honey, you look nice in this dress.”

Now, what will be the girl friend`s quick retort?

P.S.: Leave your retorts in the comment box…and since PRG never came forward to claim the Rs 500 he won for the last contest…the money will be used to award this contest`s winner.

This contest ends at 7.00 p.m. on Sunday. If you want your retort to be considered for the contest, please post it before the deadline.

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at or message him at +919650080255.

26 replies on “The “Quick Retort” Contest”

“All the more for you to love, you dumba$$!”

“Well, I couldn’t sit here, all svelte and pretty and let people wonder what this PYT was doing with a fat slob like you!”


1. “No wonder you are funny!”
2. “You haven’t seen my friend”
3. “But not as fat as your ex-girlfriend who dumped you!”
4. “Now I know why your gf ditched you ..”
5. (Should she really say something …aint showing a middle finger do ?) – Holds up her hand to display her middle finger.
6. “Now you get ready for KLPD!”
7. You get what you deserve ! No wonder you are also not as smart and rich as the guy across the table !
8. If I was any better, I was smart enough to go with someone better.

Jammy, these contests are good fun…prize or no prize, we are enjoying. Keep’em coming !
I will be back for more! Btw, what is the deadline ?

The girl would say:
“Fast” does not have a silent “s”. You have to do something with your pronunciation !!!!

Dear Jammy,

Glad to know that I won the last contest. I am presently in the interiors of Sri Lanka on a official visit where finding a internet cafe is as difficult as finding ‘a needle in the haystack’. I am shacking it out here on a shoestring budget. I request you to wait till I come back to India in time to celebrate our independence day.

You would have been better than the stick that you are if you would have atleast finished your chicken soup. Now Shut up and order an Ice-cream for me … A choco feast to be precise.

1. Uh, your point being?

2. Say that again and you’re only going to be hard on yourself for life. Did I say on? I meant for.

3. They’re called boobs, Ed.

4. The only thing that’s holding these beauties up is food, baby. Pity can’t say the same about you, though. And yours.

5. Oh, my God, Cisco Adler’s you-know-whats! Oh wait, that’s your face.

6. You NOTICED!!

7. BURP.

8. And you’re fugly. What are you complaining about?

9. No wonder you’re not getting any.

dude, we should really go visit that eye doctor I spoke about. and while we are at it, why not go see a psychiatrist too!!

“Didn’t you tell me yesterday,that I was worth my weight in gold? I am just enhancing my worth”

(Jammy,since you didn’t mention which Sunday,I presume it is the 19th)

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