Buying vegetables…for a heavy price

Ever tried going to the vegetable market with your wife? I did. And I should tell you that it was not worth the money, time and energy spent. The whole idea sucks.

“Hope you have taken the money,” she asks even before I am aware that I am being taken to the market.

“Money for what?,” an innocent me questions.

She just gives me a look and points in the direction of the market. This gesture when translated from the women-only language to English means ‘I want you to come with me to the vegetable market and don`t even try to wriggle out because I am already upset with you.`

Being the domesticated man that I am, I follow her orders. In a short while, I am in the bustling market. I don`t know when, but somehow the cloth bag that Rekha was carrying has changed hands.

I stop at the counter potatoes, my favorite vegetable. But Rekha pulls me away. “Potatoes make me look fat,” she says.

“Sure,” a docile me agrees.

In the next 15 minutes I will learn that Rekha does not like carrots, tomatoes, oranges, papaya and pumpkin because they are yellow in color. When asked why, she says “I am not THAT type.”

I could imagine she not wearing a yellow shirt…but not having yellow vegetables? Ridiculous.

Soon, I would also find out that she was bad in buying vegetables. She did not know to pick the ‘freshest` lady`s fingers, the most flexible drumstick and the healthiest coconut.

A weakness in Rekha has always excited and made me happy. More often that not, I have also gained in confidence. Unable to hold back when an opportunity was offering itself, I shot at her, “Looks like you are very bad at selection.”

She gave me a long piercing look and said: “YEAH.” I am not too sure if she was referring to the vegetables. 🙁

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at or message him at +919650080255.

2 replies on “Buying vegetables…for a heavy price”

[…] Advisor 5 was very right. I started discovering new things about Rekha. Things she had managed to successfully hide from me. In fact, on the day of our marriage I came to know that she loved vegetables more than she loved me. Even as I walked into the honeymoon suite, she blurted out: “Rajan, will you show me the nearest vegetable vendor here.” I was a bit disappointed but didn’t say much. The next day I wrote a blog post: How I bought vegetables for a heavy price. […]

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