Exploiting Taj Residency, Vishakhapatnam

Room service? Send up a larger room.
– Groucho Marx (Not Karl Marx`s brother)

I felt exactly like Groucho Marx. Not old and rickety but like Groucho`s, our room at Taj Residency was also small. OK…small for three people. The first time Anand, my room-mate, inserted the key to open the door…he broke the crystal show-piece on the table.

But I didn`t let that come in our way and exploited the available facilities at will.

There was only place where I got fooled. At the reception they told me that my company would be charged Rs 500 less as room-rent if I could make my own bed. I thought big deal…when I am at home..I make my own bed…and agreed to the receptionist`s proposition. As I walked away from the reception desk, the lady receptionist should “Sir, please collect the timber, nails and tools from the service room to the left.”

Boy! Making bed was never so difficult.

If they can make me work…I too can make them work. I ate well….thus forcing them to cook many more dishes. Wonder if it was breakfast or break-record…for I had so much. The only thing I didn`t do was turn into a Princess Diana. If you didn`t know, the pretty princess was bulimic – a medical condition where the patient always feels hungry but as soon as he/she eats …he/she rushes to the washbasin to puke.

Lunch was no different. Plans were made to keep the larger part of the stomach for desserts. I would have been damned if I had deserted the desserts. Not that I was the only one exploiting the Taj…everybody I saw around me had gained two inches on day one itself. OK, that`s an exaggeration. They actually gained only one inch.

Dinner was the best. We started at 8.30 p.m. and by the time we reached the desserts it was 11 p.m.. The organizers were apologetic about the food getting cold…but tried to make amends by giving us a Chocolate drink with a box of matches when I asked for Hot Chocolate.

Getting up after having a hot chocolate drink in the night is not a great feeling. You have matchsticks sticking to your teeth. This is perhaps why I had to rush to the bathroom to brush my teeth….and found out our bathroom was so small I couldn`t brush my teeth sideways!

[If you are reading this and work with the Taj Residency, please don`t take it to heart and send me a legal notice. All this has been written in jest.]

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at jv.rajan@gmail.com or message him at +919650080255.

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