Why do pretty girls don’t propose anymore?

Just in case you didn`t know, I am 32 years old. Considering all the bullshit I deliver on Ouchmytoe, you probably thought I was a stud bull. Unfortunately, I am just another old man, who in 20 years time will get an ICICI loan for his daughter`s marriage to a US-based Software Engineer.

I wouldn`t have realized that I was old if I hadn`t had a 30 minute session with four of the interns in my office – three of them pretty and one handsome. They had completed their six months in ibibo and Uma Iyer and I were telling them how they can`t remain interns for ever and will have to branch out to different departments like Sales, Marketing, Project Management etc…of the organization.

Just to ensure, they didn`t feel any pressure I said: “I want you to understand that we want you to branch out and grow because ibibo cares for you, and not that we don`t need you anymore.”

“Yeah, we understand.” They said in unison.

“You trust me, right?” I asked.

While the handsome intern remained silent, the pretty ones let out the killer statement: “Jammy, we aren`t worried. You are like a father figure to us!”

Their statement hit me like a lead bullet…penetrated me, and left from my back leaving a wide wound. But I didn`t let my guard down…after all I was a true-blue professional.

Back home, I asked my wife: “Do I look old?”

“Not very,” was her response.

I looked into the mirror. I wasn`t balding. At least, not yet. My hair wasn`t graying. But I had dark circles around my eyes, thanks to long hours in front of my laptop. Wrinkles had only started camping at the corners of my eyes – but the dark skin was helping camouflage it. I smiled at myself, just to be sure that my smile didn`t betray a few wrinkles – they didn`t.

What could be wrong? I asked myself…why was I being considered a father figure…and why not a buddy?

We Rajans believe in cross checking everything. A practice, my father ingrained in us…while trying to investigate the crimes me and my two sisters committed as kids.

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“Are you sure you saw Sumathy (the younger sister) use crayons on the white-washed walls?” he would ask us. If one of us answered in the negative, Sumathy wouldn`t have to wash her own clothes that day. Though we made sure, she always did.

“All girls in the right age group consider me to be a father figure. Why? Why me?” I asked Mohak Gambhir (no relation to Gautam Gambhir), a male colleague in office.

“Hmm…tough question. But I can keep a watch on you and get back with answers.” Mohak is a man with solutions…so I decided to wait for his answer.

Two days later, he got back with his analysis. He had a flow chart ready…which looked like this:

Flirt to Father Figure the flow chart

I have been pretty upset since Mohak submitted this document. Now, can you give me solutions to revive my flagging flirtatious career?

Other Fatherly Reads

# Father vs Mother – what will the child choose?
# Entering a new house in Gurgaon
# Every photograph has a story to tell
# To be a father or not to be
# Different types of fathers in law

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