I have a big ego, they say

But enough of me. Let us talk about you. What do YOU think of me?
– Bette Midler

Recently, I got a mail from my boss saying that I was being made Head of the Product Group, responsible for ibibo blogs, ibibo Sawaal, ibibo Locals, ibibo Opinions & ibibo Polls. Phew! I agree…that`s a long list of products to handle if you are just 165 cms tall.

Ever since, some of my colleagues have been telling me that success has gone to my head…and I now have a big Ego (jokingly of course!). Well, dear colleagues…I have always had a big ego.

Don`t believe me? Let me re-produce the conversation I and my girlfriend (the 7th one) had before she walked away from me.

“Jammy, you have a big ego.”

“Do I?”

“Yes. You can never think beyond yourself. I don`t think I can marry a man with such a big ego.”

“So, are you leaving the awesome me?”

“See, you are the only person who addresses himself as β€˜awesome`.

“Well…anyway, will you be sharing this β€˜ego` bit with your friends?”

“And you are only worried about what my girl friends would think of you.”

“Can`t you think of some other reason to give for the separation?”

“Hmm…I can. How about I say we separated due to religious reasons?”

“Religious reasons? How would you justify that, Madhuri?”

“I will say, you thought you were God…but I didn`t.”

That was the first time somebody had told me that I had a big ego. To take my mind off myself, I took to blogging…but now (thanks to your comments appreciating my funny articles) I am more in love with myself.

My love for myself is so high that if I had been born before Copernicus, I would have suggested a Jammy-centric model of the Universe. In case, you didn`t get the joke you probably need to know that Copernicus suggested a helio-centric model of the Universe, where everything revolved around the Sun.

Bangladesh Liberation War Cartoon

My fav ‘Ego cartoon’ (US backing of Pak in Bangla liberation war)

Maybe my childhood was deprived. Maybe, I suffer from a major sense of inferiority and that`s why I always have to be the center of attraction.

While attending a marriage, I want to be the bridegroom (once, I did manage to dislodge the bridegroom and snap a picture with his wife!). When I am in the church attending a baby`s baptism, I so much want to be the baby. I didn`t think this β€˜disease` was much to worry about till I attended a funeral – I wanted to be the corpse. It is another thing that people had surrounded the corpse, and didn`t give me any chance to creep under the white bed-sheet.

Believe me or not…but when I am alone…I crack a joke, laugh at it and then pat on my back myself. Sometimes, I do sprain my right arm while patting my back.

“What happened to your hand,” Rekha would ask. I would just say: “Nothing!” and walk past. But one day, she spotted love bites on the bathroom mirror and found out that I was in love with myself. Thankfully, I was able to hide the few cuts on my voluptuous lips.
Warning: It is dangerous to practice love bites on the mirror, at home.

Now, it is an open secret.

Other Must Reads

# Saving your skin in North India
# The Kingfisher Class – Part 1
# The Kingfisher Class – Part 2
# When I was a famous jockey

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at jv.rajan@gmail.com or message him at +919650080255.

24 replies on “I have a big ego, they say”

Great piece Jammy.
The best thing or the worst (depending on which way you look at it)of being short,is that success goes to your head fast.Refer Hitler, Napolean,Alexander,Stalin etc.

Congrats on your promotion.

First, congrats on the promotion to whatever u r to head… πŸ™‚
Second, congrats on realising u have a big head.. πŸ™‚
Third, congrats to ibibo on realising and “promoting” (read removing clutter) that big head… πŸ™‚

You guys are spending so much money in TV Spot based on bomb squad…The ad shows a question “How can I contact bomb squad in Bombay”…I tried to search for that question using sawaarl search…and I get the following result “Sorry, we did not find any results for How can I contact bomb squad in Bombay”!!!! Come on get serious!!!

Since any more appreciating comments cannot “further add” to your ego; this is very funny indeed.
There is a way not to sprain your right arm while patting your back. I use it frequently. Just use your left arm…:-)

[…] # I have a big ego, they say # Do platonic relationships exist? # How I averted a flood, an earthquake and a Hindu-Muslim riot # Celebrating birthday economy class # What if there were no clothes # The story behind Taj Mahal Post a comment — Trackback URI RSS 2.0 feed for these comments This entry (permalink) was posted on Saturday, September 13, 2008, at 12:36 am by Jamshed V Rajan and categorized in Flirting. […]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *