Growing Up

Here is a confession

I have a news which only five people in the World know. After you finish reading this paragraph, you would become the sixth person. The five already aware are my Driving Master, three of my driving classmates and Rekha. OK…the secret is…I have been taking four-wheeler driving lessons.

“How insulting,” was the first thing my best friend said when I told him I had enrolled myself at a four-wheeler driving school.

“How could you?” was how my best girl friend responded.

“How can you? How much does it cost?” was how Rekha responded.

I enrolled myself last week and have already finished five classes. In short, I am on my way to becoming a Microsoft Certified Four-wheeler Driver (MCFD). I am serious…the name of the driving school I have joined is ‘Microsoft`. It seems, besides helping me in getting a license (for a price of course) they will also give me a certificate, which would announce to the World that I am a ‘MCFD`.

I would have gone about blowing my own car`s horn (in the actual phrase, it is trumpet), but everybody is making fun of my attempt. They say, “Car driving at 30?” I correct them saying…not at 30…at 25. I hate it when somebody gets my age wrong.

Seven years back, when I was in college…every Tom, Dick and Harry was willing to give me his/her car to learn to drive because they had to borrow my well-written lecture notes. Those kids were risk-takers…they didn`t care if I didn`t step on the clutch before I changed gears, or if I moved from the first gear to the fourth directly, or if I made full use of their car bumper. In fact they were more than happy to teach me for they knew I would never be able to buy a car on my own (the IT surge changed everything).

Before joining the driving school, I had plans of hitching up with my best friend (before he got married) who had a car. Remember, he is the one who gave me his car to learn driving in college.

“Hey, I need to learn driving,” I said.

“Great. Join a driving school,” he shot back.

His wife was standing by and I immediately knew he was just being careful. I pulled him aside and whispered into his ears: “Can you teach me driving? If you don`t have the time, I can hire a driver…all I need is your car.”

He took a step backwards and gave it a thought and said: “I am giving my car for servicing today.”

“I can wait. When is it coming back?”

“It comes back in a week`s time, but the same day we are going to Srinagar,” he said.

I was excited. “Wow, that`s awesome. Till you come back, I could use your car and teach myself.”

He still seemed reluctant. “Well, we are driving down to Srinagar.”

I was shocked. “Driving down?” What do you mean? You are in Chennai and you want to drive down to Srinagar?


“OK fine. Will borrow your car once you are back from Srinagar.”

“That`s fine. But we might take a few months to come back.”

“Few months? Don`t tell me I have to postpone buying a car just because you are going to Srinagar.”

He didn`t reply. I was furious at my friend for letting me down. I left his house in a huff and joined a driving school. The problem with friends your age or older is…just when you want them…they have excuses ready.

It has been two months since and I am yet to hear from this friend of mine. Heard he committed a crime and is about to be hanged by a noose shortly. If at all he is pardoned, I am going to walk up to him and say: “Hey, who says no noose is good news? Sometimes it can be bad news too!”

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at or message him at +919650080255.

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