How I want my wife to be……

I want the girl I am going to marry to be pretty beautiful. Actually…… just beautiful enough to fall for me.

Afterall, there is this balance in life where Aishwaryas of the World fall only for the Salmans (it is another thing that later they move on to the Viveks).

Maybe…….she should look pretty only to me, but not for the others. For this will save me from all those goondas who are likely to assault me FIRST because I am the guy accompanying the pretty lady.

On second thoughts, what if my friends feel that the my wife is not beautiful? I will be devastated, for I want them to know that my wife is beautiful.

I am confused.

Also, I am aware of the fact that the chances of divorce in any marriage increases if the lady is beautiful. For then, she gets attention outside of marriage, and as a result has her options open. To cut the story short, it is like working with, and yet having an opening in the same capacity, with To say the least, you start flirting – with danger.

Inference: She should resemble Kennedi G, who works with me. See his picture to get an idea.

But beauty alone is not going to feed us. So, she should be working too. I know. I can understand. You think I am materialistic….but what if, one fine day, my employers come to know that I am a chute and fire me.

If she is working, I will get a regular supply of b’ fast, lunch and dinner. No worries. But then again, what if I she finds somebody else in her office attractive? God save me….I will be devastated…I will be left alone.

Inference: It is enough if she cuts onions.

Should she massage my feet? Now thats a nice question, but I got a good anwer too! Yes, I want her to massage my feet…and in turn I would massage hers. If you want me to spend my life at her feet, I am ready. Just gimme my B’fast, lunch and dinner. And of course small breaks for nature’s calls.

My confusion has increased manifolds because, I do not know where I stand in terms of a girl’s preference. Maybe they find me cute….the Shekar Kapoor way. Maybe, they are after my money (its only the last ten days of a month that I beg).

Maybe, they are after my highly-sexed body. BTW, just in case you didnot know, I hand-le my sex life well. With so many things to look out for in me, one can never tell why girls like me. Rather, one better not tell!

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at or message him at +919650080255.

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