Interview Interludes

Let us accept it. Not all interviews are with the intension of hiring. How many times have we seen Jeetendra or Shahi Kapoor or Shammi Kapoor sitting inside the Manager`s cabin…the phone rings…the manager picks it up…keeps on saying “Yes sir”…turns to the protagonist and says, “I was about to give you the job, but that was a recommendation from a higher up. I am sorry.”

Sometimes I wonder, if there was such a dearth of jobs in the 70s and 80s…where would we hide our face for the situation that prevailed in the late 90s – just before the IT revolution ensured a job for anybody who could speak English or could think straight (logical). Anyways, we are now beyond that…and there are plenty of jobs for the taking. If you didn`t know already there are more vacancies than can be filled for the next few years.

Yet, some of the interviews that happen today are plain whitewash. The culture of ‘referral fee` introduced by the top companies is playing spoilsport. While it helps companies cut headhunting costs to an extent, it doesn`t guarantee that the most deserving candidate is always hired.

Thinking on these lines, I realized that an interviewer can suggest alternative professions to aspiring candidates using the cues provided under the “Other Interests/Hobbies` sub-heading in the candidate`s resume. Confused? Read on.

If you are an interviewer and have already decided not to hire the candidate sitting in front of you…just look at what he/she has mentioned in the “Other Interests/Hobbies` sub-heading of the resume.

If it is ‘Philately`, start off like this ….

You: So you like to collect stamps?
Candidate: Yes sir.
You: Then why do you want to join us? You could be a postman.
Candidate: Postman?
You: Yes. It will be a Government job and you will also be able to pursue your hobby. All you got to do is remove the stamps from the letters before you deliver.

If it is ‘Gardening`, here is the kick-off…

You: Why don`t you become a gardener?
Candidate: Gardener?
You: Your Resume here says that you love gardening.
Candidate: That`s my hobby.
You: We have the right opportunity for you. Our gardener`s slot is vacant – the right amount of passion and work.

If it is ‘Singing`…

You: I heard there is lot of competition in the electric trains.
Candidate: What competition sir?
You: With too many people singing for alms, the not so competent are trying to get into IT.
Candidate: I am not so sure.
You: You would be surprised to know that some of our most promising resources are getting back to singing in the trains.
Candidate: Why so?
You: No…income tax, flexible timings, higher variable component in the package, traveling involved, and to top it all…very little peer pressure.

If it is ‘swimming`…

You: Leonardo Di Caprio and Kate Winslet are looking for you.
Candidate: Why?
You: They need a good swimmer to play dupe to Leonardo Di Caprio.
Candidate: You mean in a movie?
You: Almost. Remember, the Titanic sank in the Atlantic Ocean in 1912?
Candidate: Yes…that`s when I learnt swimming…
You: What? You leant swimming back in 1912?
Candidate: No…no..when I saw Jack go down the water in that movie.
You: Good. Then you must remember that scene where Jack and Rose stand hand-in-hand in front of the ship?
Candidate: Yes.
You: Leonardo Di Caprio is looking for a good swimmer to replace him in the actual remains of the ship, 5000 meters below the sea level. Compensation is good. Interested?

I couldn`t think of any other hobby. Guess…we need to float some creative resume.

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at or message him at +919650080255.

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